If Only You Knew!

February 26, 2013, 4:47 pm

≫ Next: Disillusioned...at last!

$

0

0

If you knew how hard it is to stand there watching your friends get hit, shot, gassed, and die...if you knew how hard it feels to see blood for the first time...if you knew how hard it is for us to betray our beliefs and stay silent...if you knew how hard it is having to justify what you do all the time because the media is ruining your image unjustly...if you knew how lame and tiring it became to try to explain and show people the very obvious truth...if you knew we are not after power or money like you are....if you knew that we are not fighting for our own rights as much as we are fighting for the rights of those who are poorer, weaker, and less fortunate....if you knew how guilty we feel when someone is hungry or treated with disrespect...if you knew how vicious it feels to see someone being humiliated by those who are "superior and more powerful"...if you knew how unfair it is to be criminalized for wanting a better future for your country and people...if you knew that you made our basic human rights seem like far-fetched dreams...if you knew how responsible we feel towards the families of those who died and those who continued to live and suffer injury...

if you knew that many of us are afraid to have a normal life, get married and have children fearing your injustice would stand in their ways or kill them...if you knew that a bullet does not only kill one person...it kills a whole family, many friends, many dreams, many plans, and many love stories...if you knew we don't have the guts to tell our parents we are joining the protests but but we have the guts to stand in front of your armored trucks...if you knew that disobeying our parents's wishes and joining the protests against their will is more painful than getting hurt by the hands of your militias...and if your militias knew we are fighting for their rights too...for the dignity you made them lose...if you knew how painful it is to stay silent, and how hard it is to keep fighting...you would have never pointed your weapons at us!

---

Disillusioned...at last!

February 26, 2013, 5:14 pm

≫ Next: Omar Salah, Marginalized in life, Marginalized in Death.

≪ Previous: If Only You Knew!

$

0

0

I am really sorry, but I just had to type this down. I totally love and appreciate the messages of support I receive from many foreign brothers and sisters, over FB and Twitter, expressing their pride and support for the women who were part of our revolution. But I just started feeling weird, somehow offended, receiving more of those "surprised" messages. Some people, unconsciously, internalize the sexist and discriminatory thoughts on women, specially Arabs and Muslims, and it shows in the: "I am dazzled and surprised. Wow, did not expect them to do this" messages. I mean, why should you be surprised that women in my country go out of their homes and protest? Why should you be astonished that I am as great a citizen as any other man taking part in the revolution? At least I hope you now deconstruct these stereotypical images and stop being so surprised when we do the normal. You have no excuse. You have seen us revolt! :)

Take Samira Ibrahim as an example of a normal, Egyptian woman/revolutionary. She has been subjected to virginity tests.

  

Virginity tests? What is that?  

It is SCAF's way to break the spirits of Egyptian female activists. Samira was arrested and tortured on march, 9th last year. She has been subjected to "virginity tests", which the military conducted claiming they wanted to prove she was not raped (in case she claims so) while being arrested. She spoke out and empowered 3 more ladies, out of 17, to also speak out against it. Samira did not ask for money or any financial compensation/Compensatory Damages, only asked for banning the practice. The result of their fighting was that the practice was banned by Egyptian law some months ago for its "harmful physical and psychological impact" and uselessness. She has managed to save many female activists. Now she is suing the soldiers who did this to her. He has been cleared by military court and now she is resorting to the general prosecutor. she never stops, and we all won't do!

And after the butcher, aka doctor was cleared by the MILITARY court, here is a photo of her crying and here are some of her statements:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2502704025767&set=a.1212873260804.24898.1797984900&type=3 :
Samira Ibrahim: "Nobody violated my honor, it was #Egypt's honor that was stolen, but I will continue to the end to retrieve it."

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2504119261147&set=a.1212873260804.24898.1797984900&type=3
Samira Ibrahim: They won't break me. I come from a conservative community, upper Egypt, and they all are supporting me, standing against SCAF. Military court would never be just or fair. I won when the practice was banned by court, I did not lose. Many girls don't have to worry about virginity tests anymore. But I will keep on fighting until I see this officer punished.

And after this photo was taken, she went with a group of women to protest in front of the ministry of defense, carrying a sign that reads:"You won't break me."http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=364329870267139&set=a.308313695868757.75890.308169565883170&type=1


http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2503193237997&set=a.1212873260804.24898.1797984900&type=3 She might have cried, but she is now standing in front of the ministry of defense delivering a message:" You won't break me. I am fighting till the end."

It is true. We are politically & socially oppressed as women in Egypt. But how did we react? What happened? Conformity? Passiveness? Giving in? Nah, EMPOWERMENT. We empowered each other, and we fought back!

And here are SOME of our women martyrs during the first 18 days of January 25th Revolution:

Ameerah

Hadeer, 13 years old.

Christeen Sila

Sally Zahran

Shaimaa Fouad

Rahma Mohsen

Mariam Makram

 

And many more were injured. Many more continued to live and suffer injury for the rest of their lives, including Dr Maram. This is her 

carrying her own photo after injury. 

She has been shot many times on January, 

28th, 2011, on Qasr El Nile bridge. 

She was standing defying the police officers 

shooting directly at protesters. 

She was trying to speak to them and make 

them stop, but they shot at her. 

She was severely injured, and got part of her 

stomach and other damaged organs removed.

One of the female doctors volunteering to treat the wounded at Tahrir.

The Egyptian women fight began way before the revolution. This photo was 

taken in 2010.

This photo was taken of a protester, fine arts student, during the famous Mohamed Mahmoud clashes where many were killed in 2012, 2013. And many others lost their eyesight when shot by birdshots directly to the eyes. She was collecting stones for the revolutionaries, like herself, to throw them in an act of self-defence at the security forces who were firing tear gas, rubber coated pellet shots at them.

This is Vivian. She is holding the hands of her martyr Fiancee Micheal. They used to work together at the same place. They got engaged and they loved each other dearly. During the Maspero (State TV building) sit in against religious oppression against Christians in Egypt, army trucks and forces attacked the sit in and the march, killing 27 people in cold blood. Micheal was one of them. A tank stepped over his body right in front of Vivian who refused to leave his body afterwards. And after they ran him over, army forces came to beat the corpse, which made her scream "Leave him alone. He is dead. He is dead. What more do you want?"

This is her photo at the morgue. She just could not let go of his hand. And until this very moment, I don't think she will ever come back to be normal again. My heart aches for her, and for every Egyptian woman and mother. Egyptian women have learnt, the hard way, what is it like to live with loss of those loved ones because of giant dictators.

Egyptian women protesters and martyrs come in all shapes, colors, backgrounds, and ages. Glory to the
strength of Egyptian women's sacrifices and resilience.


And it does not just end in the square. Women in my country fight on many fronts, in many different battlefields. Many women volunteered to work to free those detained. Many of them are not lawyers, but they volunteered to do so. They are sacrificing a lot, but most importantly, peace in their lives. They chose to do this. They chose to receive phone calls late at night from the terrified parents who can not find their sons and daughters and call them for help. They spend their times between morgues, police stations, courthouses, hospitals and many other dreadful places.

Take Mona Sief for an example:

Mona is not a lawyer, nor has she ever studied law. But she is becoming a legal expert now. Mona founded the "No Military Trials for Civilians" movement, during the SCAF rule, to put an end to the torture civilian protesters face at the hands of the military junta ruling over the country. She started with a very small group of lawyers, all volunteers, and now she has one of the biggest groups ever, who are working non-stop. Mona, and other women, Fatma Serag, Rasha Azzab, Nazli Hussien, Ghada Shahbander, and others, are sacrificing a lot. But the most important thing they are so powerful enough to do is that they not only never lose hope; they never let us lose hope either, which sounds like mission impossible 9 in a country like Egypt.

Sanaa Youssef.

And this is Sanaa Youssef. Never mind what her religion or ideological background is, because she treats people as they should be treated, disregarding any labels. Sanaa Was one of the people arrested during 2011 clashes. She has been detained, beaten, sexually assaulted, and during the full two days in which she was kept in a police station without a phone, a lawyer, or anyone of her friends or family, she did her best to calm those who had been arrested with her, were younger than her. I call her the Egyptian mother Teresa. As hard as they had assaulted her is as hard as she continued to fight back peacefully. Sanaa dedicates herself to visit the families of the martyrs, injured, and detained IN EVERY SINGLE Egyptian city. She goes to be in solidarity with them, and tries to get them the legal/financial/medical help needed for them to go on with their lives after loss. I am in awe when I see her travelling between 3 different cities, in one day, without getting any sleep or rest, to do something no one has compelled her to do. Empathy!

The heroine Yasmine Al Baramawy  not only paid the price for her participation in the Egyptian

 Revolution by being gang raped in the middle of Tahrir Square, but she challenged the sexual 

terrorism of the regime and exposed society's patriarchy which would easily criminalize a 

woman raped, leaving very little blame for her rapist. Yasmin decided to  publicly speak out 

about what has happened to her on TV in front of the whole world, held her head high. It stops 

happening as soon as you speak out and fight back. 




Now meet my most favourite! Mariam Kirollos :)

As young and cheerful as she might look is as strong and resilient she is. She is the kinda woman who would wear a head scarf one day in solidarity with Hejabi women banned to enter some places in Cairo. Mariam is also part of  Op Anti Sexual Harassment/ Assault, which is a group of volunteers, men and women, who are trying to protect Egyptian female protesters from organized and systematic sexual assaults during protests.

Under Mubarak.

Under Military Rule.





Tahrir Girl, that is how we love to call her...not the "blu bra girl", as western media loves to call her....she is more than just a bra...she is more of a ...tahrir!


This vicious attack happened during the violent dispersion of the #OccupyCabinet sit in. Here is a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of-MG0kgY0U&feature=related

I know her. I see her. She is not broken, SCAF. She is still fighting...hard and strong...last time I saw her was at the MOD sit in...at the field hospital helping the injured!

Azza Helal, the woman who saved Tahrir Girl from getting killed after she was stripped off her clothes, turned out to be the fiancee of martyr Attef el Gohary, killed at #MOD clashes. After Attef was killed, she announced her hunger strike in solidarity with the rest of the detainees.

And here is a video of her saving Tahrir Girl and getting beaten for it. She is the woman in the red coat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7jSweu1oBc&feature=related 

Azza comes from a family of army generals, but this did not stop her from joing the revolution against them and then against the Junta.

Azza suffered tremendous pain after trying to save tahrir girl.

Under Ikhwan Rule.

So please, take note, and do not be so much surprised when you see us fighting for our basic 

human rights, and sacrificing. Deconstruct your Orientalist views, even if you mean well, and take a look at us instead of following the media outlets of your countries which would love to keep you in the dark. Do not be surprised, because we are proud, strong, Egyptian and Arab women, and we come in all shades of anger!

This is in solidarity with every woman who fought back. In solidarity with every woman who fought back and won...But mostly, in solidarity with those women who fought and lost, but did not stop fighting!

                                                                                                                                                                            

For more pictures, kindly check: 

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1590555502624.63688.1797984900 

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2126828549115.80027.1797984900&type=3

Omar Salah, Marginalized in life, Marginalized in Death.

February 26, 2013, 5:26 pm

≫ Next: الست ميريديث و حكمة اليوم من جرايز اناتومي...

≪ Previous: Disillusioned...at last!

$

0

0

Stories like Omar's do not only steal whatever humanity you have left, it also deconstructs all

 your long held beliefs. Naive beliefs that Justice will be served and that evil will lose at the 

"end", no matter how long it takes. Welcome to the real world, where injustice always finds the 

easiest ways to win.

Omar Salah. Another name of yet another martyr. But Omar was not even a 21

 years old. Omar was not a middle class political activist. Omar used to fight,

 but not for political reasons. Omar used to fight every single day...to survive

Omar was 12 years old. Yes, twelve. He used to sell sweet potatoes on a 

peddler's cart. Omar had 5 sisters, and a brother. أis father is a sweet potato 

seller too. The 12 years old dropped out of school, but not because he did not 

like it. He dropped out to work and help his father and family survive.

In an old interview, Omar was asked "What do you dream of, Omar?"

He Answered:" I don't have the right to dream, Mr."


Omar used to tell his father to stay home, volunteering to work instead of

 him, because he felt that his father was too tired to wander the streets all

 day for a few pounds. "No, father. You stay and rest. I will go and sell the 

sweet potato and I promise to come back with money". When his older sister

 was hospitalized, Omar came to his father and said: " I know you do not have

 any money." and he went out all day. His father and uncles kept searching for

 him all day. He came back at 2 am. When he came back, his father found out

 that he took 5 pounds from some bystander and bought some tissues 

packets, and sold them to the people on the streets. And he gave the money

 to his father.

On the day Omar was killed, he had only two pounds in his pockets. What did 

he do with them? He went and bought very little food and forced his not so 

hungry father to eat, because he wanted to feed him. "No, father. I insist. I 

just want to see you eating. You are so worn out. I swear I am not leaving 

until you finish eating".

He then went to a bystander and asked him for two pounds. He took them and

 bought a cup of tea for his father.

Omar was killed by two bullets shot directly to his heart in Tahrir. Why was 

Omar in Tahrir? Not for protesting, not for joining our "fight". He was fighting

 a different and harder battle. He was fighting to feed his family. An army 

officer came to buy sweet potatoes from Omar. Omar told him that he would 

sell to him, but after he goes to the bathroom first. The very arrogant officer 

did not like the answer and threatened to shoot him. Omar challenged him, 

because you see, even 12 years old KIDS have dignity too. So the officer 

ended up shooting Omar and killing him.

I used to say that we have lost any sacredness for human life, after

 witnessing so many people get killed in front of us in cold blood by an

 arrogant and oppressive regime. But this time it is different. This time,

 something just died inside. I now realize that something inside could still 

feel and react to what is happening.

What hurts is not that a 12 years old had been turned into the breadwinner,

 after being denied any right to a healthy childhood. He had been denied the

 right to go to school, buy toys, have friends, spend time playing, not working.

He had been denied basically every right. He had been denied the joy of 

wearing a school uniform, this cute tiny uniform, and feeling what it is like to

 wear it for the first time. He had been denied the right to play in mud, start

 silly fights, eat healthy food, sleep well.

Even the peace of mind we envy children for...this too has been taken away

 from him in all viciousness. But that all does not hurt as much now. We kinda 

got used to it. At least I did.

What hurts the most is that

 Omar’s death was 

discovered by chance.

 Marginalized in life, 

marginalized in death!


A few activists were 

searching for another

 activist who had 

disappeared after the Friday

 protests, and they went to 

Al Monira hospital to look 

for him there. They did not 

find the activist, but a doctor who works in the hospital told them that he saw

 the corpse of a child, and he did not know who he was or what had happened

 to him and he gave them Omar’s picture. The activists kept trying to figure

 out who Omar was, until they found this video of an old interview in which he

 was speaking about his life.

I am at loss for words. Feelings are piling up inside me and I don’t feel like

 commenting…on anything. How many Omars do we have and know of? How

 many Omars do we have, but we do not know of? Does this make any sense 

to any of you? It does not to me.


They killed us, before they kill us. A generation of numb zombies! That is 

what they have turned us into.

Omar’s funeral will be held in tahrir tomorrow after Friday prayers. Please, try

 to be there in honor of a 12 years old's struggle.

I am so sorry, Omar that all I could do is to “tweet about it”. I am sorry I am

 so numb and helpless. I am so very sorry, because I too was responsible for

 this. I am sorry. I am just very sorry.

I am sorry Omar has died this viciously, but I am determined to save the

 many other Omars we still have. Omar has died, but many more Omars 

continue to live and suffer, and this is why we need to keep fighting for them. 

Take a moment, mourn him, and get back on your feet for your and my Omar.

الست ميريديث و حكمة اليوم من جرايز اناتومي...

February 27, 2013, 4:03 am

≫ Next: مش هيحكمنا تاني عسكر! دة قرار مش مساومة ولا رأي!

≪ Previous: Omar Salah, Marginalized in life, Marginalized in Death.

$

0

0

"Sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?"

"We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."

"Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled...old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget."

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

"But the things is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has the smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing.
It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it's not so important that it's happily ever after--just that it's happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away."

"Suddenly I'm the president of people with crappy lives??"

Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.

مش هيحكمنا تاني عسكر! دة قرار مش مساومة ولا رأي!

February 27, 2013, 9:20 am

≫ Next: عن جدر شجرة اتنفت اوراقها...

≪ Previous: الست ميريديث و حكمة اليوم من جرايز اناتومي...

$

0

0

انا بقي محتارة ومقسومة نصين ومش عارفة اقعد يومين ورا بعض اساند طرف معين..لانه سرعان ما يعمل حاجة تخليني  اكرهه واكره كل الاطراف...اذا كانوا بعض من متعصبين الالتراس والمدن الاخري تجاه كل ما هو بورسعيدي...او اذا كان بورسعيدي جاله زهايمر ونسي ان الدم و المأساة والعنصرية اللي بيشوفها علي مدار سنتين كان سببها الاساسي هو مذبحة دبرها العسكر و اشرف عليها الداخلية ونفذها البلطجية في ملحمة عظيمة قتتلت 74 وردة مفتحة!

العصيان المدني في بورسعيد تقريبا اول عصيان مدني ناجح في بلد شايفة ثقافة حتي الاضراب خراب ديار...لاول مرة بنشوف الرأس مالي صاحب المصنع بيتحد و بيقف مع عماله نقس الموقف و يقفل مصنعه بايده و يتظاهرو كلهم سواسية في الشوارع...دة يدل ان طفح الكيل فقلب كل الموازين! ماركس زمانه مستمتع فشخ يا جدع وبيشاور من قبره ويقول اي تولد يو سو يا بهايم..العمال هم الحل...

من الواضح جدا ان الشارع قد ضاق ذرعا من الاخوان...حتي و ان كانوا حتي هذه اللحظة الاكثر تنظيما و قوة علي الساحة الانتخابية اللي كفر بيها الشعب كما كفر بالثورة و الثوار..يعني مش هنختلف اننا مش عايزين الاخوان..ودة لاسباب واضحة وضوح الشمس..حتي اللي انتخبوهم ندموا..مش هاقولك اخواني و مش باحب الاخوان..هاقولك فين وعود النهضة؟ اين خططكم للاصلاح...يا سيدي قدم لي خطة تتحقق في عشر سنين بس قدم لي اي رؤية حتي...بس فنكوش!

مش كل اهل بورسعيد بيطالبوا برجوع العسكر..ومش كل من سكن خارج بورسعيد بيعمم و يظلم ويكره ناسها..لو اهل بورسعيد يتم لومهم علي مجزرة الاستاد..يبقي اهل الدقي يتنفخوا عشان موقعة الجمل..و سكان التحرير تتعملهم ابادة جماعية...اة طبيعي ان غضبهم يظهر دلوقتي اكتر..دي مش انانية..بس من المنطقي ان كل ما زاد الظلم زادت المظاهرات حدة..احنا نفسنا في القاهرة مبننزلش باعداد الا بعد حكم قضائي فاجر او مذبحة عسكرية او اخوانية او او..فاية المشكلة في حراك زايد بعد ظلم؟ من امتي بنخون مبادئنا ونبيع جزء ثائر من بلدنا عشان لنا فيه ذكري اليمة؟ لو بتتقاس كدة مفيش حتة فيكي يا مصر متوجعناش فيها..يالا نهج والله اسهل!

متخونش مبادئك..ولا تخليك مزدوج..اللي بيحصل في بورسعيد من قطع ارزاق الناس بارادة الناس و دم و عنف داخلية وغيره لو كان حصل نصه في اسكندرية ولا المحلة كانت البلد كلها قامت...ازدواجيتكم مش بس غلط...دي كمان خسرت الثورة كتير...فوقوا يرحمكم الله..كفاية انانية.

اما بقي من في بورسعيد يناديى برجوع العسكر لحمايته..احب اقوله...كان نفع نفسه! ولية اساسا بنتكلم علي اساس ان في خلاف بين العسكر والاخوان؟ من امتي؟ من ساعة وثيقة السلمي و غلوشة الاسلاميين في الميدان علي هتافاتنا ضد العسكر واتهامهم لنا في البرلمان اننا بلطجية وطلبهم بتسليح الداخلية ضدنا؟ ولا من ساعة المحاكمات العسكرية؟؟

ولا من ساعة البرلمان و مجلس الوزرا وعماد عفت وعلاء عبد الهادي وكشوفات العذرية وجميع المجازر العسكرية التي تمت الموافقة المتأسلمة عليها؟ اة يانا يا ست البنات! معلش!

ولا من ساعة القلادات و الهروب الامن؟

صدقني الكلمتين دول مش محاولة اقناع مني لك...كلا البتة يا عزيزي..دي مفهاش اقناع..عسكر ميحكمشي دة قرار..مش رأي!

زي ما شفت غدر الاخوان بينا في الاتحادية بعد اعتصامنا السلمي اللي متكسرش فيه كوباية قبل الاشتباكات! زي ما شفت دم الجوهري وابو الحسن بيحني الارض قدامي لمسافة 20 متر في العباسية بعد مجزرة العسكر...

                                               مش عايزين يحكمنا عساكر...ولا واحد بالدين بيتاجر!

                                              يسقط يسقط حكم العسكر...يسقط يسقط حكم المرشد!

                         اختشوا!!!!

عن جدر شجرة اتنفت اوراقها...

March 10, 2013, 5:51 am

≫ Next: First clash between Civilians & Ikhwan in the streets of Egypt.

≪ Previous: مش هيحكمنا تاني عسكر! دة قرار مش مساومة ولا رأي!

$

0

0

كبرنا...كبرنا و كبرت المشاكل...بقت مخيفة.

احنا اللي كبرنا و شوفنا فجأة ان العالم مش وردي؟ ولا الدنيا اللي بقت فجأة رديئة؟ المشكلة مبقتش في عروسة انا شبطانة فيها و امي عايزة تعلمني حاجة فعندت عليا و مش راضية تجيبها..ولا بقت المشكلة ان عندي امتحان و مش قادرة اذاكر و اسوء ما قد يحدث اني اشيل مادة ولا اعيد سنة..ولا بقت اني مقموصة من اعز اصحابي..ولا ان بابا كلمني بعصبية! اكبر مشاكل اليوم مبقتش ان الشوارع زحمة..المشاكل كبرت اكبر من معلش بتاعت اصحابك ليك..
كبرت و مبقاش في كلام ولا فضفضة تداوي و لا تريح..مبقتش الطبطبة بتحل او تداوي..يا اخي المشاكل بقت اكبر من حضن امك ليك...عارفه؟ اللي بتدفس فيه دة ينسيك هموم كتير و لو لحظيا..بيطمنك..حتي لو محلش حاجة او غيرها!
الكلام اللي فقد قدسيته في ظل العنف وهوان الناس و الارواح اللي احنا عايشينه و لا اية اللي اتغير؟ لية الطبطبة مبقتش دوا؟ لية بقت كليشية؟ بقت كل حاجة روتين وكلام متوقع؟ رتم الحياة الثابتة اللي مفيهاش جديد يشدك دة بيرعبني!
فجأة بقينا بنخاف اكتر..علي حاجات بتضيع كانت من مسلمات الامور قبل كدة..افتكرنا ان عمرها ما هتضيع او ان حاجات معينة عمرها ما هتحصل عشان لا يمكن تسوء الدنيا كدة..بس حصلت..والحياة استمرت..بس استمرت ازاي؟ وهل استمرارها بالشكل دة هو اللي مخوفنا؟
انا مش متقوقعة و مكتئبة..بس بافكر كتير..عشان خايفة..من اية؟ وانا ايش عرفني! بس مقبوضة! حاجات كتير بتحصل حواليا هزتني..احداث كتير في البلد والحياة هزت ايماني ببعض الافكار والمسلمات..اظهرت ناس كتير علي حقيقتها..في السياسة و والمجتمع..بقالنا سنتين او اكتر واقفين نتفرج علي وشوش عمالة تقع..ويبان تحتها وشوش اقبح...حلو انهم بيقعوا..بس مش عارفة اتعامل مع الوشوش الحقيقية القبيحة ولا اهرب منها ولا الاقي لها بديل.
في حاجات كتير مش لاقية لها اجوبة..بس الشيئ الوحيد الاكيد..اننا كل ما بنكبر بنخاف..كل ما المسؤلية بنزيد..والدنيا و الناس حوالينا تتغير..بنحس اننا اغراب في دنيا جديدة زي طفل بياخد اول خطوة..وكل ما انا شخصيا باكبر..كل ما سخطي علي اهلي اللي باموت فيهم بيكبر..لية ربوني بالطريقة دي؟ لية فهموني ان العالم ليس بهذا القبح؟ كذبوا عليا؟ ولا كانوا بيحموني؟ ولا كانوا عايزين يربوا بني ادم سوي في عالم غير متوازن اصلا!
لية يربونا علي قول الحق وعدم الغش و استحالة كتم الشهادة..واما نيجي نعمل دة يلوموا علينا و يقولوا اننا مش مقدرين خوفهم علينا ويمنعونا ننزل؟ ولا هي الحاجات دي علمتوها لنا عشان نعملها في الفصل مع اصحابنا و مدرسيننا و احنا صغار و اما نكبر لازم نعرف "نمشي جنب الحيط"؟

انا حاسة اني في غربة..انا باتغير و كل اللي حواليا بيتغيروا..لا اصحابي نفس اصحابي ولا انا نفس الانا..انا حتي مبقتش عارفة احضن امي واتدفس زي زمان!

حتي اصحابك اللي كانوا بيتسندوا عليك وقت ضيقتهم مبقتش عارف تحل لهم حاجة و لا تسندهم...احساس مقيت بالعجز..اصل اللي بيتكسر دلوقتي مش ساعات و ازايز برفان و ضوافر...اللي بيتكسر قلوب و احلام كتير...احلام ولا حقوق انسانية بديهية طبيعية اصبحت احلام في مجتمع عنصري و تحت سلطة جشعة باختلاف اشكالها؟ مبقتش عارفة...بس اللي اعرفه ان حتي ملكة انك تقدر تداوي و تطبطب مبقتش عندي...سرقتها مني حاجات كتير و ناس كتير خلو الوحش في الحياة عادي  ولازم نتكيف معاه ان مقدناش تغيره..."اكبروا"...هي حجة الضعيف لما ميلاقيش سبب لكل اللي بيحصل لك ينغص عليك حياتك..فينتهي انه مش لاقي حل غير انه يقولك ان النضوج انك تتقبل كل ما يحدث...برؤية مختلفة! يمكن دة صح..يمكن صح الا حد ما...يمكن كله غلط..مين عارف؟ مين في ايده يحدد؟ ولا حد :) ولا حتي انا :)

هي مبادئنا دي كلام شكله حلو في الكتب ولا افكار بنعيش بيها و بنطبقها بجد؟ ولو هي حقيقة و هي الصح..لية لسة بنعاني؟ لية بنحارب عشام منعملش حاجة ضدها..و لية اللي معندهمش نفس المبادئ الاساسية جي حياتهم سهلة؟
بس اصلا حتي لو عوزت اتخلي عن بعض مبادئي مش هارتاح..بقت جزء من تكويني..مش هاعرف اكذب علي نفسي..مش هاصحي في يوم الاقيني عادي بقيت فلول او في اشتباكات وانا منزلش او اكذب او اغش في شغلي او او او...بس ممكن احاول اقلل من احساسي بالذنب والتفكير المبالغ فيه في كل شيئ باعمله؟
اريد الرجوع لموطني الاصلي...مش عايزة افقد هويتي..ولا انتزع من جدوري..بس عايزة اتعلم اتعايش مع واقع اقبح من ما توقعت!

First clash between Civilians & Ikhwan in the streets of Egypt.

March 12, 2013, 1:40 pm

≫ Next: موقف بقي عادي...

≪ Previous: عن جدر شجرة اتنفت اوراقها...

$

0

0

6th, December, 2012.

Excuse the typos and the grammatical mistakes. Thought I should document this before I forget or go to sleep. 


Told my mom I was going to see some friends at a cafe, and it was the first time I lie to her. As soon as I knew that Ikhwan are packing protesters from other cities, blind sheep, I knew a civil war was at Egypt's doorstep. I decided to go to the presidential palace where revolutionaries were camping, staging a sit in against Morsi's constitutional declaration and the the constituent assembly whose members are only Islamists. I don't have a problem with Islamists. I have a huge problem with the domination of one political force on the political scene, and the exclusion of all the other forces. So I decided I should go for these reasons, and other reasons. And also because, out of previous experiences during clashes, I learned that the greater the number of protesters is, the lesser the attacks are expected. So I just wanted to secure those who are there. 

I went to Tahrir, found many fights, fires, and clashes. Protesters made checkpoints at every entrance, even in the metro stations, to guarantee everyone entering the square does not have a weapon. They even took my perfume bottle from me as it is regarded as a "weapon" there. Many groups of revolutionaries were gathering to see how they are going to go from Tahrir to the presidential palace to support those who are there. We fought. They were fearing for girls, who insisted to go, because we knew that Ikhwanis had weapons and would first attack "the weaker of us", as claimed by them; women. We all went together. The power it took us to go there is tremendous. Each and every time we go to clashes, we know we might not come back. But this time was different. It felt like saying goodbye. It was expected to be more violent, more bloody, and more shocking as we are all civilians. We did not know what was right from wrong. Are we protecting the revolution and its demands or are we starting a civil war? The guilt? the fear? The fear for our loved ones? We were all going together. Everyone I love and value was with me. What if I lose them all at once? I told them to go. But what if they do not come back? We all went, anyways, with so much fear and determination. 

It took us forever. At Heliopolis, I saw many more people, familiar faces, present during 

every time there are clashes. We stood there. And then clashes erupted. Ikhwanis, coming from many different cities, organized, armed, ran all at once towards us to attack us. We retreated. Two friends of mine and I stood in the middle of the running crowds. You see, a wave of running protesters is just a wave at the sea. Either you you swim with it, or you dive in. But we stood our ground. And by this time you really get numb every time people start to run or there is an attack. Force of habit? I don't know if this is healthy. 

Clashes went on. Ikhwanis had machine guns (which they did not use during the time I was there to be honest), fired bird shots directly at us, tear gas, threw molotov cocktails, lynched some of us, and the sad thing is, they treated us as enemies, were very happy when one of us gets caught or beaten up viciously. Bye bye Egyptian solidarity. 

The sadder thing was that Ikhwanis, no matter how I disagree with them, remain CIVILIANS. When we used to clash with security forces, they remained police forces or army troops. It made sense to us, revolutionaries, somehow. But civilians against civilians? I just had a nervous breakdown. We started running very fast. A friend of mine lost his shoes. All of a sudden I find other friends I was trying to reach and failed. One of them came and put his hands around me trying to keep me from falling. I freaked out, did not know he was my friend until I saw his face. And we all ran. A friend lost his shoes and we kept looking for a shop which is still open to get him another pair. We kept looking for too long. And each time we step into a shop, we were being interrogated by the very suspicious owners :" Are you with Ikhwan? Are you with the revolutionaries? What side are you on?" And when we say we are against Ikhwan, some shop owners said they would not sell us anything. And the conspiracy theory, feeling of uncertainty, alienation, estrangement dominate. At this point, I felt completely alienated from my country and nation. Nothing made sense to me. I am an Egyptian citizen and I have the right to be at any place in this country and buy anything form anywhere. Clashes went on. We kept coming back at the front lines and they kept attacking us. We hid at one of the buildings when one of their marches was passing by...as if we are some outlaws or criminals. But what is our crime? Why are not we as free to chant our demands as they are doing? Why do we have to hide for safety? And all of this time my friend was running barefoot. We bought some slippers for him. And then we got back to the front lines. The viciousness we were being attacked with is what broke my heart to pieces. I just lost it. Could not make sense of anything. We ran to the back lines, found Ikhwan members chanting their guts out "The people demand the appliance of Shariah laws" and I kept wondering which Shariah? yours or mine? Shariah tells you to kill your own people? It tells you exactly the opposite. The complete opposite. 

I kept calling friends who were ambushed, and could not reach them. I tried to get in to try to find them and failed. I went crazy. They started advancing until they reached Cinema Roxy, and threw molotov cocktails at us, directly at us. I lost it. Many women started stopping buses and cars, hysterically telling people "come on, join us. What are you waiting for? People are dying. Come on, raise your voices. The young people of the country are dying, they are getting killed"

And then in a spontaneous and unplanned and sudden move, we all started chanting together, the same chant, "The people demand the removal of the regime". People on the streets started chanting and we all went back to the front lines. Some of my friends left and I stayed. 

At first I was not calling for the removal of the 4-months-old regime. I was only asking for my legal & constitutional rights after a revolution that took half of my friends, to guarantee the country would not be ruled again by one giant dictator who controls everything, has all powers.
We kept receiving many injured people, heard news about martyrs, but I REFUSED TO BELIEVE. Ikhwanis advanced, took our barricades, and some of them stole the cameras of many reporters, beat them. The feeling that I am losing ground and being fought by civilians, although I disagree with them on basically everything, made me feel so helpless and lost. 

A police armored vehicle was caught by protesters. Some of them tried to cause damage to it out of frustration, but other protesters stopped them to "keep it peaceful", whatsofuckingever that is. A fire truck came in trying to splash people with water to stop clashes, but it was in vain. Ikhwanis, packed in buses from 6-7 other cities outnumbered some of Cairo's revolutionaries.

There were many undercover cops there taking photos of us or trying to inflame things, and make them worse. But we are true revolutionaries. 

It feels so bad when a fellow Ikhwani, whom you protected during the revolution, and who protected you too, like Abdulrahman Ezz, who was injured during the revolution and was helped by all of us, and saved by us, now stands at the very far end of the street, points his finger at us telling other ikhwan members who we are and asks them to attack us, which has happened. Betrayal hurts. Getting stabbed in the back hurts.

Yes, I disagree with Ikhwanis when it comes to politics, but no, I don't believe their members are traitors. the manipulative, hypocritical, power-hungry leaders led them to believe we are traitors, former regime loyalists, paid thugs, and foreign agents. Rings a bell? 

I was so mad, had so much rage inside, was raging like fire, but I did not really like or value the idea of a civil war that much.

A friend of mine forced me to leave the scene. He got me to the nearest safe place and left. I kept walking, and at some point I could not tell where I was. I was in shock, not for violence, but for expecting a CIVIL WAR. As far as I remember, I called a friend of mine and I started crying and sobbing and people started looking at me awkwardly. I don't remember what we spoke of but all I remember is that I told her I did not know where I was, and 20 mins later I was home, crying to my mom, whom I could not tell the reason why I was crying so I had to make up another lie. 

موقف بقي عادي...

March 13, 2013, 1:23 pm

≫ Next: بنات حلوين وعيون لامعين و في ايدها سلاح:) Arab Women Fighters

≪ Previous: First clash between Civilians & Ikhwan in the streets of Egypt.

$

0

0

المشهد كالتالي...شاب قوي ..شكله صعيدي او من ارياف..لابس جلابية..والشمس ناحلة وبره..

ماما  نازلة من التاكسي شايلة حاجات كتير...قرب مني شاب و قالي : اشيل لك الحاجات دي لحد البيت و تديني حاجة؟

ماما: بس البيت اهوه يا حبيبي..معلش.. وابتسمت 

الراجل رد كأنه بيحاول يجاهد يثبت منطق..يثبت حقه..كأنه بيقول حاجة منطقية جدا و حصل عكسها فهو مش قادر يستوعب..بصلها اوي كدة و قام مزعق بنغمة مفيهاش هجوم علي ماما..بس استنكار لتاّمر كل الحاجات ضده.. "بس انا جعان...انا جعان و معييش فلوس و مكسوف اطلب من اي شاب فلوس عشان اكل بيها..مش عارف اطلب فلوس عشان اكل..انا نزلت من البلد عشان جالولي هنا هتلاقي شغل..بس مفيش..مفيش..وانا جعان..جعان اوي"

امي اديتله اللي فيه النصيب..وشالت حاجتها و دخلت..وقفت تاني علي باب العمارة تطمن عليه و انه معاه ما يكفي..بصت عليه من بعيد لاقيته واقف باصص لها و علي وشه نظرة امتنان كأنها انقذته من غرق عبارة مصرية مصرية اصيلة..و قام رافع ايدة و مشاورلها بما يعني شكرا..وطبطب علي صدره في امتنان و ابتسم و مشي بسرعة جدا...

و امي قررت تقضي بقية اليوم عياط شوية..حسبنة ع المسؤولين شويتين..واللهي تشوفوها في عيالكم تلات شويات..ودعا للشاب دة واللي زية عشر شويات...

المشكلة في اللي حصل..ان الشاب دة وجع كرامته كان اقوي من كفر جوعه..بكم الجوع اللي خلاه يصرخ في الاخر..مطلبش من حد..و يوم ما فتح بقه..طلب خدمة قصاد خدمة مش صدقة من حد..

اللي بيحصل في البلد مش بس بيكسر بطون وقلوب..بيكسر كرامة..بيكسر النفس...مغلطش اللي هتف "كرامة انسانية"!

زيح عنا يا رب...داوي قلوبنا يا رب...و اطعم كل محتاج...وساعد كل محتاج نفسه عزيزة في بلد ملهاش عزيز!

---

بنات حلوين وعيون لامعين و في ايدها سلاح:) Arab Women Fighters

March 17, 2013, 3:13 am

≫ Next: In Remembrance of Iraq Victims.

≪ Previous: موقف بقي عادي...

$

0

0

Killed by Israeli occupational forces in Lebanon in 1982. She was a Palestinian refugee and freedom fighter. 

نكتبها عربي دي:) دول نساء مصريات اثناء تدريبهن علي مقاومة الاحتلال البريطاني في صحراء السويس.. نوفمبر 1951

Egyptian women fighting the British colonial troops.

Photo taken on November 20th, 1951 for the Egyptian women's "Tahrir Kata'eb" during their training in the desert on commando operations near Suez, they were called "Girls of the Nile".

Egyptian female workers fighting for their rights, 2010, standing in defiance against the central security forces who wanted to forcefully close the company in which they work, and end their sit in. نساء الطبقه العامله - 2010 عاملات مصنع المنصوره أسبانيا للنسيج

Egypt's young women joining the army to defend their country against the Tripartite Aggression started by Israel, France, and Britain.

فتايات مصر يتدربن اثناء حرب بورسعيد ١٩٥٦

Egypt's young women joining the army to defend their country against the Tripartite Aggression started by Israel, France, and Britain.

فتايات مصر يتدربن اثناء حرب بورسعيد ١٩٥٦

Um Jaafar on the front line in Aleppo.

Guevara, pictured above, a Syria Palestinian married to an Al Wa’ad battalion commander, was the director of a secondary school before the revolution.

She is now a sniper on the front line in Aleppo.

A female fighter of the FLN posing with her gun during the Algerian War of Independence against the French.

Palestinian Women fighting shoulder to shoulder with Palestinian men (1936-1939)

The Palestinian freedom fighter Dala Maghraby:)

 Liela Khaled, member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) and a convicted airline hijacker who was later released in a prisoner exchange for civilian hostages.

Leila Khaled in Damascus after her release from Britain in 

1970

Liela Khaled :) 

Palestinian mothers, the real definition of defiance!

Communist women fighter in Palestine, during the 60's.
مناضلات الحزب الشيوعى الفلسطينى فى الستينات

هاتلي يا حبيبي غويشة :)

و ستبقي...

Khansa, 42 years old, married, howsewife with 7 children: “I feel optimistic
, we will defeat the regime, put an end to poverty and mistreatment.”

Om Ahmad, 72 years old, housewife with 3 children: "My house in Dar’a was destroyed by 2 bombs…

I moved to Aleppo with my family, I chose to pick up a weapon and fight the regime.”

Om Faraj, 30 years old housewife, no children:
"Being mistreated by a regime security guard in front of my husband was the most humiliating
thing that has ever happened to my family, I picked up a weapon, I joined the fight."

Rokain, leader of Kurdish all-female battalion fighting along side with Jabhat al Nusra& FSA in #Syria against #Assad forces  :)

#Syria-n rebels :) #Aleppoكتائب الثوار -حي الشيخ مقصود 7 -5 -2013 #سوريا

Palestinian women joining the Resistance fighters in Beirut, Lebanon, 1982.

Women joining resistance against Israel in Jordan, 1070

Women joining resistance against Israel

In Remembrance of Iraq Victims.

March 19, 2013, 12:01 pm

≫ Next: المقاومة مش بس سلاح! Resistance at its finest

≪ Previous: بنات حلوين وعيون لامعين و في ايدها سلاح:) Arab Women Fighters

$

0

0

The victims of 9/11 were not only the 3,000 lost in the attacks, but also the Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, and non-Muslim Arabs and Iranians who were murdered, beaten, discriminated against, illegally detained, and subjected to racial profiling, humiliation, and the vilification of their way of life in the aftermath. Let us also not forget all of the lives lost in the illegal wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Let us not also forget all the soldiers who were emotionally manipulated & forced to join a war that was never theirs to fight, and could not withdraw when disillusioned. 

In remembrance of all Iraqi victims, I remind you all and myself with the words of the brave journalist, Muntasir AL Zaidi who threw his shoe at Bush, and was detained & viciously tortured for it.

"If those who blamed me knew how many destroyed houses I walked over with those shoes that I threw, and how many times those shoes mixed with the blood of the innocent, and how many times those shoes went into homes where the honor of those who lived there was disgraced, then it was the proper response."

Muntader al-Zaidi

The shoe thrown at President Bush during a press conference in Iraq in 2008. Photograph taken at the Museum in TriBeCa, New York City.

المقاومة مش بس سلاح! Resistance at its finest

March 20, 2013, 1:47 am

≫ Next: عن الحاجات الصغيرة بس كبيرة و ليها معني...عن اسباب استمراري في كل حاجة :)

≪ Previous: In Remembrance of Iraq Victims.

$

0

0

A little girl inflicted with Cancer draws what she wishes to have in the future. 

During the famous street battles of Mohamed Mahmoud street, Egypt, between security forces and the revolutionaries. 

اغضب..اعترض...اجري...اضرب...بس كل دة مش مقاومة..المقاومة انك تفضل واقف مكانك...ساند اصحابك...واللي مش اصحابك..ساند كل صاحب حق..حتي ان مكنش حقك...انتم ملح الارض!

Mohamed Mahmoud battle also.

متخليش المجتمع المعاق يكتف حركتك...راحت رجلك؟ فيك مخ وقلب وعقل وايدين و صوت..كمل!

After Mohamed Mahmoud battle, the revolution and the fight continued, even with many people losing their eyesight as snipers targeted them. They did not stop. 

خسروك حاجة؟ حاجة واحدة؟ طب لسة في قد اية تقدر تكسبه؟ الحياة مش حاجة واحدة

علي قد تمسكك بالفكرة...علي قد ما تضعف ظالمك..يأسك املهم..واملك يأسهم!

نيران هتافك...تحرر صاحبك الممسوك...متزهقوش..زنزا علي دماغ ابوهم..اقرفوهم..و دي جل المقاومة!

 Jewish American peace activist Rachel Corrie, carrying no weapon but a microphone, was crushed to death by an Israel Defense Forces armored bulldozer in Rafah, in the southern part of the Gaza Strip, while trying to stop them from demolishing the house of a Palestinian family. She left her "democratic" country, peace of mind, luxurious life, and decided to travel all the way to a war zone and stop a genocide. Glory be to the Honest in their beliefs. Glory be to the Human!

 A depiction of a WWII soldier CRAVING some music, some love, some normal life in the midst of the agony of a war he did not want to join. He still can relate to the human within himself. He was not turned into a complete monster by the war machine.

Usually when in danger, most people run away from the source of danger. But have you seen a whole nation, marching, together, towards it? Not caring, only advancing to achieve what they dream of!
If that is not resistance, what is?

Resist their predetermined ideas, their sectarianism  their oppression, even when you do it with a voice, and a flag! That is all you need to implement an idea that lives on.

Your faith is not a cliche. Your identity is not to be bashed. Self assertion is a right. Homeland is not a piece of land, it is the Identity. It is where, how, and why you were made to be the person you are today. Every single thing in it helped shape the person you are today.

اطلعي من قوالبهم..منتيش مغلوبة علي امرك..منتيش كنبة و كرسي...انتي زيك زيهم..مكانك كتف بكتف معاهم...يمكن قبلهم..متقبليش تتظلمي..لا برؤية حد ليكي بطريقة مهينة..ولا بايد عساكر غشيمة!

Fight back against the stereotypes which shows you as weak, passive, insecure. You are what you decide to be! Fight back, the oppressor, and the manipulative society which shackles your free will to choose whatever you want to choose.

 مش قادر غير تحدف طوب؟ ما تحدف طوب..خسران اية لو حدفت؟ لكن ممكن تخسر اكتر لو محدفتش...ازئلزهم..هما و اسلحتهم الكبيرة..

 After the assault on Gaza, 2012, two Gazan girls can still find a way to play around and find happiness in the middle of rubble and the ruins of the now-lost not so many memories they left with their destroyed house.

An Egyptian lady in the city of Port Said sits to drink her cup of tea after the city had been bombed by Israel, Britain, and France. She's lost practically everything she owns, but she can still enjoy the simplest details!

Crime? Being a communist! Having a different thought, different ideology. If you can not live by their standards, die fighting for yours! It would be meaningless if you live by something you do not like or believe in!

An Iraqi boy draws the war planes that bombed his house, killing all his family members, and injuring him. And even before he feels better, he held his pencil and drew everything he still remembers to document what has happened, to glorify the history of his nation and family, and to fight back against the imperialist lies of war mongering.

Egyptian female workers fighting for their rights, 2010, standing in defiance against the central security forces who wanted to forcefully close the company in which they work, and end their sit in. نساء الطبقه العامله - 2010 عاملات مصنع المنصوره أسبانيا للنسيج

و احفظ القضية...تحفظك!

Asserting identity, no matter how hard the tide is turning!

This is in remembrance of and solidarity with every woman who fought back. In solidarity with every woman who fought back and won...But mostly, in solidarity with those women who fought baqck and lost, but did not stop fighting!

الأستاذة بسمة بلعيد ، زوجة الشهيد التونسي شكري بلعيد الذي قتل لمعارضته النظام القمعي..تزغرد اثناء تشييع جثمانه

Mrs Basma Belied, wife of the Tunisian opposition, leftist, leader who has been assassinated weeks ago. She is ululating,  making a wavering, high-pitched vocal sound resembling a howl with a trilling quality, which women make when they are in celebrations. For Muslims, they believe that when someone dies for a cause, they die a martyr, and are sent directly to heaven, and that is why we celebrate martyrs, as well as mourn them.

Carte postale représentant [mettant en scène] l’exécution d’un communiste, Munich, mai 1919.

عن الحاجات الصغيرة بس كبيرة و ليها معني...عن اسباب استمراري في كل حاجة :)

April 17, 2013, 3:37 pm

≫ Next: اهالينا لازم يفهموا!

≪ Previous: المقاومة مش بس سلاح! Resistance at its finest

$

0

0

عن حبي ليونس شلبي 

عن العيال كبرت كل اول يوم عيد

عن اعجابي المراهق باحمد زكي وانا صغيرة

عن اغاني الست في الفجر مع فنجان نيسكافيه مولع في عز البرد و ضمير متأنب عشام مش بيذاكر و الحالة اللي انا فيها اما كنت باكتب عنك :)

عن ريحة شعر ماما في حضن الصبح

عن بابا اما يخطفني احضنه و انا باغطيه بالليل

عن طعم اول لقمة بعد اول يوم صيام

عن اكل الجامعة و عم عادل الطيب بتاع الكافيتريا اللي بيجبلك الاكل لحد عندك اما تطلب...و كتير من غير ما تطلب :D

عن اول مقالة اكتبها احلل فيها حاجة انا بس اللي شوفتها و ابهرت نفسي

عن المشهد اللي بيبكي فيه البطل علي مراته في Just Like Heaven

عن حبي لشرا الاقلام الملونة كتير

عن عشقي للورق الابيض الناعم التقيل و اول خط ازرق غامق تقيل فيه بغض النظر باكتب اية

عن الوان فستاني يوم حفلة تخرجي

عن احساسي اول ما بالبس كعب..وبعدها ب 4 ساعات بابقي شبه متحدي الاعاقة

عن 20 سنة صداقة من 22 سنة انت عشتهم علي وجه الارض

عن الامان اللي بتحسه من 2 3 بس اهم حواليك في اي ظرف

عن اليقين...عن اليقين اللي بتدعي فيه و من ثقتك في الاستجابة تجهز نفسك نفسيا و جسديا لاستقبال ما دعيت بيه

عن مقدرتك لسة تأمن بحاجة شايفينها مبتذلة و متخلفة

عن اختيارك للمألوف لاسباب غير مألوفة

عن اول مرة بدلأت اسمع الست و اتنحنح من غير ملل

عن صوت فيروز وانا رايحة محاضرة 8 الصبح نايمانة

عن مناقشاتنا و اعادة حسابتنا للمسلمات بها من الافكار في المحاضرة مع مدرسين اصحابك مش مأمورين اقسام

عن حضن دكتورة المادة ليا في وسط corridor

عن اول موبايل تاتش جيبته

عن اول مرة اكتب عربي ع الكيبورد و حسيت اني بانقي رز مش باكتب

عن يسقط يسقط حكم العسكر!

عن الثورة و الميدان واول مرة الناس فعليا "تقابل بعض"
عن كوباية شاي بالنعناع (غالبا بيبقي نجيلة مش نعناع) الساعة 7 بليل عند تمثال (في مقولة اخري صنم) عمر مكرم في وقت الاستراحة بين جولات الضرب..
عن الخل و الخميرة و الابيكوجيل واقراص الفحم و اللبن والقطن و الشاش
عن صيدلية عملتلي خصم و اديتني حاجات ببلاش اما عرفوا اني باشتري دوا للميدان
عن مسيرات الطلبة الجامعة و مصطفي محمود
عن نضال الحركة الطلابية و زرعهم للخيم وسط جنينة الجامعة في تحدي صترخ و غلس لادارة فاشية و فاشلة
عن كمامات بتلبسها لناس متعرفهاش عشان ايدهم مش فاضية
عن اول مولوتوف ساعدت في عمايله
عن رسومات محمد محمود
عن حبة عيال وقفوا قصاد عساكر و بلطجية و جنارالات و تجار دين و اهاليهم و عائلاتهم و العرف و التاريخ المغلوط لجيش عيرة...
عن ضابط جيش قالي احنا معاكم بس ايدينا مكتفة و فتح لي الطريق اعدي بمسيرة طلبة صغيرة
عن لزقة استيكر "لا للمحاكمات العسكرية" علي دبابات داست علينا
عن ماسبيرو و ضحكة مينا دانيال و حبيبته ماشية جنبه مكسوفة
عن ماسكة ايد فيفيان لمايكل في المشرحة
عن عماد عفت و اللي عملوا في اعتصام ماسبيرة و من اول الثورة لحد ما مات مقتول في الميدان جنب "العيال قليلة الادب البلطجية"
عن كل مرة كنت بارجع من اشتباكات باكح غاز حرفيا وسايبة اصحاب كتير غرقانين دم و راجعة بيتنا اخر اليوم نفسي في حد يطبطب عليا و يطمني و ياكلني و اول ما بادخل تصرخ امي في وشي "اية اللي وداكي؟ مش شايفة بيكسرو و يخربوا ازاي؟ هما دول اللي سيبتي كل حاجة عشانهم؟"
عن عدم مقدرتك في لحظة معينة انك ترد ع الاشاعات اللي بتتقال عليك...اصل الادلة صارخة...والكلام بقي ماسخ
عن شبكة ايدينا قجام هارديز وقت الضرب...عن رعبنا و صعوبة بلع ريقنا كل ما صوت بياداتهم وهما بيجرو ناحيتنا يقرب و احنا مضطرين نقف مكاننا عشان ميخترقوش الميدان
عن اول مرة الاحظ خوف متداري في وشوش رجالة كبار
عن ولد غريب عني...معرفتش اسمه ولا فاكرة شكله...خد ايدي شالني طلعني رصيف بعد هجوم ميليشياتنا الوطنية اوائل محمد محمود...و مخفتش منه..و سيبته يعديني الرصيف العالي و انا مأمنة له
عن ولد تاني ساب الضرب و جري ورايا يقولي متخافيش متخافيش...متجريش بالراحة بالراحة بالراحة انا معاكي..خدي نفسك..و فضل معايا ومع اصحابي
عن بنات كتير بتجري خايفة في وسط الضرب في نفس اليوم و المكان و الوقت بفردة جزمة واحدة و كأنها موضة جديدة..بس هي مش موضة..ولا هما قلعوها بمزاجهم
عن اغاني الشيخ اما قدام مجلس الشعب باليل يوم مسيرة الطالب العالمي
عن العباسية و تمسكنا بمبادئنا حتي بعد ما اصحابها تخلو عنها...و ازاي انها كانت اشرس معركة حتي الان بالنسبة لي..
عن الحالة اللي توصلك تهتف "ارفعي راسك...ارفعي راسك..انتي اشرف من اللي داسك!"

عن هارديز وشباب بيجري ناحية الضرب والهتاف اثبت اثبت..ارجع ارجع..

عن مظاهرة ف قلب الضرب والطلبة داخلة من قصر النيل بتصرخ الجدع جدع و الجبان جبان واحنا يا جدع هنموت في الميدان

عن المواطنين الشرفاء علي اطراف الميدان بيشتمونا وبيحدفوا علينا ازاز من فوق الكوبري

عن البنات اللي واقفة في وسط محمد محود بالخل والبيبسي و بتخلع الطرح تمسك بيها القنابل وتحدفها تاني ع البلطجية والجيش والشرطة

عن الشباب اللي شايلينهم للميداني و لمة الكل و تلاحمهم ولا العائلة الواحدة ساعة الضرب

عن قلقك علي اصحابك و كتبك اللي تقع وانت بتجري

عنالخبط علي الحديد تحذير من هجوم جديد

عن المصاب اللي جنبك ويقع بدالك و بنفس راضية وتطوعا و الطبطبة ع التعبان

عن اللي بيرجع غاز علي اول محمد محمود

عن صوت الاسعاف اللي مبيقفش ويخليك في انهيار عصبي

عن صعوبة سماع اتهاماتنا بالبلطجة والعمالة في البرلمان وسط القتل

عن ضي عيوننا اللي اتسرق و العيون اللي طارت

عن الايمان بالقضية وعدم الطمع في مكسب غير انك تعيش حر...

عن الطفل الضغير اللي هدومة مبهدلة وانت اضعاف عمره بس ياخدني يوصلني مطرح ما احب عشان يطمن ان العساكر مش هيضربوني و يعزم عليا بالسندويتش اللي معهوش غيره و غالبا مش هيبقي معاه غيرة لفترة كبيرة قدام...

عن قراية الفاتحة للشهدا مطرح ما اتقتلو علي مدخل الكوبري..

عن الهروب من الشوارع الجانبية وكوبيات الشاي اللي بتفع ع الارض وقت الجري

عن الامهات اللي واقفة عفية مش خايفة

عن الاعاشة والصلاة و الادوية اللي اتكدست

عن  احساسنا ان الكل باعنا بس احنا ملناش غير بعض...واقفين جنب بعض...عارفين اننا الصح..ان ملناش مطمع...

عن اللي بيجري بعييييييد يرد علي التليفون "لا يا ماما تحرير اية انا في كوستا مع اصحابي" 

عن تكدسنا فوق بعض في ميكروباس واحد هربانين فيه عشان نفضي مكان للشباب اللي رايحة تطمنن علي اصحابها في المستشفيات او هما نفسهم مصابين...

عن دم الغريب اللي مش غريب علي طرحتي...

عن موتوسيكلات الغلابة اللي عليها اقساط بس جايبينها يشيلو بيها مصابين..

عن الاحساس اللي بيجي اما تفتكر محمد محمود الاولي:
عن اشتياق مع كسرة نفس مع حب مع بكيمع انه مش اعنف شي شوفناه....بس كنا لوحدنا ضد الكل....الكل باعنا...مكنش لنا الا بعض!
 عن حرقة هتافنا: اشهد يا محمد محمود...خدنا الخطوة في وش الموت...كنا للحرية شهود...قتلوا اخواتنا و كانوا ورود...كانوا ديابة و كنا اسود...كانوا ديابة و كنا اسود..."

اهالينا لازم يفهموا!

April 19, 2013, 5:43 am

≫ Next: MOD clashes, one year later.

≪ Previous: عن الحاجات الصغيرة بس كبيرة و ليها معني...عن اسباب استمراري في كل حاجة :)

$

0

0

اهالينا لازم يفهموا ان مش بس عشان اعمارنا نص اعمارهم اننا عايشين في هنا "و في اية ممكن يكون مضايقك؟"...لازم يفهموا ان زماننا و تحدياتنا اصعب...لازم يفهموا ان كل ما الكون الكئيب بيكبر عمره.. احنا اللي بنعجز...لازم يفهموا ان يمكن زماننا ادانا فرص نعيش تحديثات لم يعيشوها..و ادانا فرص تجارب اكتر...بس لازم يفهموا ان فرصتهم و زمانهم اداهم براح يتنفسوا عن ما زماننا ادانا...لازم يفهموا ان مش عشان احنا في اوائل العشرينيات نبقي سعداء مرتاحين البال..لازم يفهموا ان متطلبات الوظيفة والرأسمالية اللي توحشت والحروب اللي تطورت في 2013 اضعاف اضعاف مطلباتهم في السبعينات! لازم يفهموا اننا مش جماد...اجسامنا بس اللي بتتعب...اة عادي نعيش و ناكل و نشرب بقلوب مكسورة فمتزودوهاش علينا...و زي ما لازم يفهموا اننا مكبرناش اوي كدة عشان تبقي كل الصعوبات دي بالنسبة لنا عادية زي ما هما فاكرين...لازم بردو يفهموا اننا اة مكبرناش...بس مش صغيرين...و نقدر بردو نمشي حياتنا دون توجيهات في كل كبيرة و صغيرة و ان متبعناهاش نبقي اغبياء وناكرين الجميل و فاكرين اننا عايشين وحدنا...عمري ما هاشكك في خوفهم علينا...بس الضغط...مبقاش في قاع ننزل فيه من كتر الضغط...سيبونا...احنا تحت الارض ...بس بنتبسم!

لازم يفهموا ان "حقك عليا" اللي بتتقال بعد ما بيفهموا علي قد ما بتريح...علي قد ما بتكسر قلبك انهم قالوها لعيل جابوه و شقيوا عشانه!

اهالينا لازم يفهموا...لازم يفهموا!

MOD clashes, one year later.

May 2, 2013, 4:13 am

≫ Next: يا أطباء مصر...الرحمة!

≪ Previous: اهالينا لازم يفهموا!

$

0

0

• I knew about ABulHassan's martyrdom at dawn, as soon as he was shot. I did not sleep
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Martyr Abolhassan was a med school student, killed at the MOD sit in. When his friends went to his room to gather his stuff after his death, they found a photo of Alaa Abdel Hady, another martyr killed at the #QasrAiny sit in and was also a med school student at his university, hung on the wall.
  
  
  I was on my way to the scene at 7 am. Ahmad Mansour came with me. Abul
  Hasan was his friend. I only knew Abulasan from our Cairo Uni sit in. As soon as I reached the scene, it felt like Gaza after a Zionist attack. Everything was shattered and broken. Dead place. Dead city. Dead people walking by. People had put stones to frame the blood of the martyrs on the ground with.
  
  
  The blood looked like Hennah. But the colour was not beautiful. There were lots of blood clots on the ground. I felt like throwing up. But I could not even shed a tear. My defense mechanisms were so strong.
  
  Ahmad started crying hysterically as soon as he saw the blood trail stretch for 20 meters. Aggor met me at the entrance.
  
  He hugged Ahmad and I patted Ahmed's back to calm him down. We kept screaming at people defending the SCAF, standing right next to the blood. I could not really understand how they could say anything in defense of the SCAF while standing beside the blood, no, they were standing right over it with their shoes.
  
  
  
  
• And then we went in. The streets in Abbaseya, unlike Tahrir, are so wide. this meant that we would not be as able to guard the entrances as we used to do in Tahrir.
  
  
  It was the first time I feel so scared. Why? I don't know.
  But this time it was not the army or the police we were fighting against. It was armed thugs this time. They are more vicious, and that is why the security forces don't engage and let them deal with us in such situations.
  We were shot at by people standing over the bridge. We were under the bridge. And then Aggor left me to go aid someone.
  And I stood alone with Ahmad who could not get a grip, still realizing he had lost a friend.
  We found two makeshift hospitals at the entrances.
  The scenes were intolerable.
  In Tahrir hospitals, we used to see people with no eyes, shot by birdshots, stones, keda.
  But there, we saw people who were slaughtered, with their throats ripped open, and they were taken away from the scene, slaughtered at the road, and then thugs on motorcycles threw their bodies at the entrances as if delivering a message to us, threatening and intimidating us.
  I kept taking pictures. And visiting the field hospitals to document all of that.
  Women were collecting stones.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  And it was not the first time I protest along side with Salafis, but it was the first time they protest against military rule.
  It felt weird, especially after the shameful stance they took after Tahrir Woman had been stripped off her clothe at Tahrir earlier.
  I kept telling them about Tahrir woman and how shameful their stance was. I came to support their right to protest, although I disagree with their demands, and yet I was so mad at them when I spoke of this girl, who was present by the way, helping at the field hospital. 
  They looked guilty.
  They are extremists somehow, ideologically, for me, but they are capable of admitting their mistakes. And they did admit that. But it was not enough for me.
  And then we kept receiving slaughtered people and people shot by bird shots from head to toes.

  
  

  
  
  We received about 30 of those every 20 minutes. I am not exaggerating here.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  They even threw molotov cocktails at children, burning them. 

  
  

  
  
  All I remember is that it was so hot and we were ambushed by military tanks from the side of the Ministry
  and the thugs from the other side.

  
  
  I saw thugs with swords, killing even children. It was the first time I see a bloodbath.
  As if a huge amount of water had been spilled on the ground, but it was blood this time, not water.
  We went to start a demonstration at the gates of the ministry, faced by the tanks, and then thugs attacked us from the other side and the scene was cleared.
  I went home that day, leaving something at the scene. Something I want back.
  I still see myself walking by the blood trail filming it, as if I need evidence to make people believe that people were killed.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CImck5g4yfs
  As if you need evidence of blood after such a massacre.
  I then went home to a family calling protesters thugs, believing whatsofucking ever the media tells them.
  And I did not even have enough power to tell them otherwise.
  I only felt victimized, not only by thugs and security forces, but by the whole community who would buy silly lies so easily.
  I still hear the cries of old men at the gates screaming "Oh my God, they have thrown another slaughtered man. We need people to carry him. He might still be alive. Ya Allah, help us."
  I am still angry.

  
  

  
  
  I am still angry at myself for not crying and letting it out that day.
  But I am doing so now. I guess. I don't want to remember the rest of what has happened.
  May be it is enough for me now to deal only with what I can remember so far.
  Why am I still alive? This is not a survivor's guilt.
  Atef and ABulhasan were killed at the same time.
  Why am I not even hurt?
  Is it fair?
  Is it fair to their families? is it fair that these people, who objected on the demands of this sit in, and only went believing that Salafis should not be attacked by security forces, no matter what their demands are and regardless of how much we disagree with them, be killed? They only went to support Salafis right to protest without being attacked by the regime.

  And then they were killed by the regime, and later on, Salafis wasted their rights. It all went in vain when they cooperated with the regime again, and when they did what they did at the parliament.

  It is just...I don't know.

  May they RIP, may their families and us all be healed.

  Why was Abulhasan denied his right to graduate after staying 6 years at med school and you know how hard that is? Why was Atef denied the right to marry his fiancee, Azza Helal, the woman in red coat who saved Tahrir Woman after she'd been stripped off her clothe at the square?

  
  

  
  

  Attef Al Gohary was killed at the MOD sit in, ministry of defense.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  WHY? I don't have a reason. 

يا أطباء مصر...الرحمة!

June 14, 2013, 6:48 pm

≫ Next: The People's coup & the Legitimacy of Blood.

≪ Previous: MOD clashes, one year later.

$

0

0

لما ابقي باتعالج بقالي 4 سنين عند 14 دكتور ( عدد غير مجازي) او اكتر باختلافاتهم العمرية و الخبرة و الفلوس...و ف الاخر مميعرفوش مالي هاقول دة طب...مقدرش يوصل...ملومش عليه...لكن اما يبقي الرد اول ما ادخل عليه و من قبل ما اقعد "انتي جاية لي لية؟ انا مش قلت لك ملكيش علاج عندي و الحالة ملهاش تشخيص؟ جاية لية؟ انا معنديش حاجة جديدة اقولها...يالا اتفضلي و امشي و لو عاوزة تشوفي دكتور غيري انتي حرة)

و لما ابقي باصرخ ساعة الا ربع من الوجع في استقبال مستشفي خاص فاخر...و مفيش الا دكتور واحد في المستشفي كلها...كأن الناس مش من حقها تعيا او تموت في الصباح الباكر..و الدكتور انا واثقة انه سامع صريخي من الدور التالت...و مينزلش...و امي تطلع له 3 مرات تناديه...ومتلاقيش في ايده حالة شغلاه مثلا...ويرد عليها بقلبها الموجوع و اعصابها التلفانة من صريخ بنتها "طيب طب نازل نازل"...و اما الصراخ يشتد ويسرح في كل جسمي لدرجة ان رجال الامن يقرروا يغامروا و يكلموا الدكتور المغرور من موبايلاتهم علي حسابهم و يرد "انا مش قلت نازل!" و تقرر ممرضة وعاملات نظافة يغامروا بالتهزيق و يطلعوا ينادوا له وهو كل دة منزلش...

واما المفروض اخد مسكنات قوية بس هما يقولوا لامي لا هانستني 3 ساعات كمان عشان لازم نصرفهم من صيدلية المستشفي..ونعمل بيزننس...مع ان في صيدلية لازقة ف المستشفي والدكتور يقدر يكتبلي روشته يبقي مصرح بها اشتري دوا نازل جدول...بس يقرر انه يستني 3 ساعات من وجعي عشان يعمل بيزنس لصيدلية المستشفي وينفعها...

واما بعد دة كله ميكشفش عدل و يقولي دي زايدة...اقوله انا لسة شايلة الزايدة عندكم من كام شهر...يقولي اةة...تبقي قرحة..

واما الممرضة تستني عليهم نص ساعة علي ما تنزل تصرفه من صيدلية المستشفي علي ما تخلص الشاي بتاعها في حين ان صريخي رغم تعبي لسة قوي و مسمعها...واما تجيبه و تدخل تشمئز قوي و اول نطقها يبقي "علي فكرة انتي صريخك معصبني...مش عارفة اركز في الحقن...في اية؟ انتي متعبتيش كدة في الجراحة..اية يعني اللي ممكن يكون واجعك كدة؟ اسكتي عشان اعملك الدوا..لو مسكتيش مش هاعمله"...في اللحظة دي مش بس مرضي اللي كسرني...لكن كمان الانسانة و ةالثورية اللي جوايا اتكسرو اما ملقتش قوة ارد بها عليها اقولها انا مش بضاعة...انا انسانة بتحس...وانتي مقصرة...لازم تتحاسبي...بس لم اجد قوة كافية و زاد وجع القلب و الاحساس بالظلم و التهميش علي وجع الجسم..

واما بعد دة كلة الصيدلية تمضي امي علي روشتة الادويا مرتين و تحاسبها عليهم مرتين و اما تركز و تسأل ميقدموش اي تبرير و يسيبوها و يمشوا...

و اما ابقي داخلة درجة اولي ممتاز و الغرفة نادرا ما تتمسح

واما موظف الخزنة يقرر ان مفيش فكة يا مدام فحلال عليا باقي الحساب...

واما الدكتور اللي مفروض بيتابع حالتي...يقرر ميجيش يوميها مع انه مفروض بيلف ع العيانين كل يوم في نفس الوقت...و يقفل تليفونه...و انا باصرخ من 7 صباحا حتي 11 مساءا الي ان فقدت الوعي تقريبا و ضغطي بقي 40 علي 50...و كل دة و الدكتور قرر يروح عيادته الخاصة بدل ما يعمل شغله المعروف و يفوت يطمن ع العيانين فيالفترة المسائية!

واما ميجيش تاني يوم في الفترة الصباحية...و يفضل قافل تليفونه عشان لسة في عيادته الخاصة (مع العلم انه بيرد عليه اما بيكون شغال في المستشفي) لحد ما انا و امي نمضي علي اقرار اننا خارجين من المستشفي علي مسؤليتنا الخاصة قبل ما الدكتور اللي مش راضي يجي يصرح لي بخروج...لان اساسا قعودنا في المستشفي اصبح غير مجدي و هي صحراء جرداء!

واما ادخل دلوقتي بابويا علي نفس  المستشفي ...ادخل بيه شايلاه بما بقي لي من قوة..و الدكتور الامتياز الامور بردو ينزل بعد نص ساعة ساعة الا ربع و انا بابا قدامي مبيتحركش ولا عارف يتنفس و حرارته 40

واما يرفضضوا يدخلونا او يكشفوا عليه الا اما ادفع الف و نص.."يا مدام ما انا باقولك...الرعاية complete و غرفة الف و نص تحت الحساب) وميبقاش في اي ماكينات سحب فلوس قريبة...و مع فكرة اني بفضل الله قادرة ادفعهم و دفعتهم لان امي علمتني ان الطب في مصر تجارة و ان اي مصيبة ممكن تحصل دايما شيلي فلوس معاكي بزيادة...محدش عارف! طب لو غيري و معهوش ولا في ماكينات سحب فلوس ولا في جيبه؟

واما دة حال المستشفيات الخاصة...فكيف بالعامة؟

انا مش باطالب الدكتور يكون متعاطف...قادرة اتفهم القدر المناسب من البرود اللي لازم ينزل عليه عشان يتقن شغله دون قلق او تقصير...لكني باطالبه باسط اعماله...انه يتواجد..وانه يكشف قبل ما يشخص...وانه يولي المريض و وجعه ع البيزنس...يعني لو علاج مطول افهم انك تقولي استني اصرفه من مستشفيتك..لكن دة انا الوجع شل حركتي انا و ابويا!

ومع كل دة انا بيسألوني قافلة من الدكاترة لية! و عشان التعميم تعتيم...وعشان قامت ثورة في البلد دي...وعشان في دكاترة لسة بني ادمين...مضطرة عشان مبادئي ارجع اساند اعتصام الاطباء و مطالبه و حقوقهم زي ما باطالبهم بحقوقنا كمرضي لا حول لنا و لا قوة و لا جاة و لا مال اما مرض ربنا قدرهم يشفوه...بس هاساند من غير نفس...او بنفس هما كسروها اما بدؤا يعاملونا علي اننا بضائع!

الله يسامحكم...ويشفينا...ويحرصنا...ولا يحوجنا! 

اي طبيب شاب او كبير وهو يعد علي من يساندون اعتصام الاطباء احب اقوله...انت مش مضطر تبرر...او توضح موقفك..انا مش ضدك انت لو انت طبيب فعلا عارف واجبك زي ما بتدور علي ابسط حقوقك اللي انا لسة مؤمنة بحقك البديهي فيها...متضايقش من اللي كتبته...ولا مني...ولا عليا...بس انت و انتي اللي تقدروا تجيبوا حقوقكم..و تصلحوا المنظومة...ارجوكم اختلفوا!

---

The People's coup & the Legitimacy of Blood.

July 7, 2013, 5:56 pm

≫ Next: Because, Egypt!

≪ Previous: يا أطباء مصر...الرحمة!

$

0

0

I REFUSE to believe that elections are the only way to democracy! How many rulers had been elected and turned out to be mass murderers?
Morsi in the first round got only 20% of the votes. In the second and because it was either Shafiq or Morsi, people, mostly revolutionaries voted for Morsi, disregarding how much Ikhwanis and Islamists have victimized them in trying to appeal to the SCAF, get the parliamentary seats, and they have blessed them for killing us...most people voted for Morsi nonetheless for not wanting military man Shafiq in power, including 16 y-o Jika who voted for him for the same reason and got killed protesting against his policies.
People gave Morsi legitimacy through the ballot boxes, and took it away from them in the squares!

Morsi & the Ikhwan are the ones who have long been cooperating with the SCAF, justifying their crimes, criminalizing us for revolting against them. They have accused Tahrir Woman who has been stripped off her clothes by the army, of starting it, attacking the military forces, undressing herself. They have asked that the police be armed by more weapons against "thugs" of Mohamed Mahmoud. Hundreds have lost eyesight and have been killed ever since SCAF rule & their collaborating with them during that time, and starting from ikhwan rule till our present time.

I go to pro Morsi sit ins, trying to break the media blackout concerning their sit ins,  and I'm against the media blackout regarding what is happening now at the ‎#ikhwan sit ins, would never accept security forces' crackdown on them. This revolution started as an idea...for freedom, equality, bread and social justice. Ikhwan excluded all other forces from the political scene, and that was their biggest mistake, and the cause of their demise ( I am not gloating because they are "defeated now. That is so immoral), but they have taken away many rights from us, which they are asking for now. Right is right. wrong is wrong. and a principle remains a principle! Kill me, but I feel that the normal ikhwani members, not the leaders, believed they were fighting for an idea/project too. And regardless of how much I dislike it and disagree with it, but I know what a dream represents to a person, and it pains me that they now feel like their dream has been stolen, and I am not analyzing this politically, but...humanly maybe? I am not happy with how they feel now, not at all, but I do hope they learn from their mistakes and know that if they cause an injustice to people, the people are going to get their rights back. I hope every single politician, including, and especially the military, know for sure that this nation has tried and experienced many things in the past two years, and we are not going to be fooled again, and won;t settle for less. Down with Mubarak. Down with military rule forever and always, down with Ikhwan's rule and injustice. I still can not celebrate. I don't know. I am very scared, cautious and somehow not satisfied. Or have I forgotten how to be happy? I don't know, but one thing for sure, seeing my people happy makes me happy, even if they are delusional. We have suffered enough, the least we deserve is a moment of peace and justice. I do hope the military stick to their main role; guarding borders. I hope the next gov truly changes the ministry of interior which has killed many of our young people. And I do hope the next ruler, whofuckingever he is, learns the many lessons we have given former rulers during the past two years. I do hope the people of this country sleep happily tonight, including members of the brotherhood (leaders def not included)."

We were the ones who first burst  out chanting Down down with military rule as soon as the armed forces' spokesperson said they have an alternative political roadmap for us. I denounced the military's interference in the political scene, but then again I found that they only gathered the political forces, Azhar, Church and the Tamarod youth for talks, did not impose any of their views on any of them. 


Tamarod, representing the revolutionary youth, are the ones who have done all the work. They are the ones who revolted against Mubarak, the junta and Morsi, never asking for any political post/interest. They are the ones who have wandered each single city and street gathering signatures against him, as a democratic way to oust him!

Saying that the army is the one making decisions and ousting Morsi is not only unfair, but delusional too. Turning a blind eye to the 33+ millions who marched against Morsi and to the 22+ millions signatures against him is delusional. 

What legitimacy? What democracy? We have elected a president based on his promises of reform, and he has done nothing concerning this regard. Worse, he has made it worse. Military trials for civilians had not been stopped, killing of protesters, jailing journalists and activists for TWEETING, and putting Egypt at the doorstep of a civil war, are all part of Morsi's achievements. 


Chance? Yeah. Let us give morsi his chance to leave us many jikas killed, imprison many Hassan Mostafas and Domas, leave many minors in military prisons, exclude all the other political forces, appoint more Ikhwanis in executive and crucial positions, leaving all the experts out of the scene, drowning Egypt more and more, APPOINTING SCAF MURDERERS AS HIS PRESIDENTIAL CONSULTANTS AND HONORING THEM WITH MEDALS. 


The same nation which a small part of it voted for Morsi has a bigger part of it now rebelling against him. 

An Ikhwani supporter once asked me: "If you take an exam, and I tell you that the time of the exam is 4 hours, do I have the right to take the answer sheet from you after only one hour?"

Me: What if I violate the rules and cheat? Yes, that gives you the right to take my paper, AND punish me for it too. I am the one who did not respect the rules in the first place!

Morsi is the one who violated the rules, did not fulfil a single promise. It is not the people that do not respect your own sick definition of "democrazy"

Give me Jika's legitimate right to join a university, graduate and lead a normal life, and I give Morsi his legitimacy back.

Give me Samira Ibrahim's, and 17 other women, right not to be criminalized when the junta subjects them to virginity tests, with Islamist blessings, and I would give Morsi his legitimacy back.

Legally pursue all the police officers who have killed protesters since 2011 until 2013, and have been cleared by court and I would give Morsi his legitimacy back.

Stop Morsi from accusing Christians and opponents of fighting against Islam, not his policies, and I'd give him his legitimacy back. 

Make Morsi withdraw the medals of honor he has given the SCAF members and I'd give him his legitimacy back. 

Give Egyptian youth & politicians their right to participate in the political scene which has been unlawfully occupied by only Morsi's supporters and I'd give him his legitimacy back.


Make them nullify the "protest Law", which gives the police the right to violently disperse any sit in, using live ammo, which has been proposed by their Shoura council in trying to stop us from protesting against the SCAF, and I'd give Morsi his legitimacy back!

Make Morsi stop using his supporters, relying on them to fight his battles against us, instead of resorting to even the security forces, starting a civil war between the people of the same nation, and I'd give him his legitimacy back.

Here is an example of him inciting against a civil war when people protested against him after he issued a constitutional declaration, immuning his decisions, and becoming a new dictator who has all the powers. Here is what has happened on that day. DO READ:
http://hebafaroukmahfouz.blogspot.com/2013/03/memories-from-first-clash-between.html

We were the ones who protested and got killed in front of the Isareli embassy, while the glorious MBs did cut the diplomatic relations with the Zionist entity, CRIMINALIZED us for protesting, gave SCAF the right to order OUR ARMY troops to kill us there and in many places. And after Morsi became president, he sent Perez love letters, LITERALLY love letters. What did he do the Camp David accords? Did he close the embassy? 

My instant reaction to the armed forces' statement announcing they have a roadmap for us was "down down with military rule and the army's interference in the political scene". But all I saw afterwards was that they only gathered the revolutionary forces, and the revolutionary forces, including the youth of Tamarod, made the decision. The army does not need to interfere in the political scene while they control like 40 % of the country's economy! That is what we should be fighting against, not accept the tyranny of an unjust ruler, fearing another. 


Egypt has had many million man marches ever since his ouster. We wanted to hold many million man marches all over Egypt, even after Morsi's ouster, to ensure that we, the People, are the sole decision makers in the country. It is a clear message to ikhwan, the opposition, and most importantly the military and police, that our free will and demands are the two factors changing the political scene in Egypt.

I have interviewed people in four different squares, and they all said that they know for a fact that junta is not going to interfere in politics, and if they do, we will stop them, because we have tried them again. It is true most of them naively trust the new army generals are different and better than SCAF members, but it is also true that they said they would stand against them if they turned out to be the same or worse.

If you don't speak to the millions marching, shut the fuck up! 

NO. We do not trust the military, never will, and that is why you still can see us holding million man marches even after his ouster!

And let it be known that the fight between the ‎MB and the military does not mean that any of them are good. Both are power hungry criminals fighting over interests.
Let's wait to see who is going to win, and then fight the other who would be still killing us again for political & economic interests. But let us do so while we are not being turned into monsters who justify any of their crimes against each other or against us.

(Morsi honoring SCAF members & appointing them his presidential consultants, after previously vowing to legally pursue them for what they have done to us; killing, torturing, and detaining thousands of our revolutionary youth.)

Because, Egypt!

August 18, 2013, 1:01 pm

≫ Next: و يبقي السؤال...اين و كيف سنقضي المشهد الحادي عشر؟

≪ Previous: The People's coup & the Legitimacy of Blood.

$

0

0

A very personal, yet not so trivial post:

No birthday celebration for me this year, again, because, EGYPT!
You might find that this is a total bullshit post at such a time, but this is more than just a trivial post from a pampered girl who is looking forward for her sweet "23" or something. I have spent this year in hospitals, ICUs, with mama, papa, and myself hospitalized too many time. I have spent this year losing friends, avoiding getting killed by so many people I don't hate. I have spent this year knowing what is it like for my country to be at the doorstep of a civil war when the MB killed my friends at Itehadeya. And I have spent this year working continuously from 9 am to 2 am. I have spent this year in prosecution, police stations, and mostly: morgues and funeral marches. I have spent this year mourning, marching, protesting, covering, and counting charred bodies lately at the field hospitals. I have spent this year waiting for any chance to have a fun day, that never came. I have spent this year in moral, emotional, and political conflict so dehumanizing that it leaves me on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I have spent this year tying to speak against all tyrants, and as a result, getting bashed for it.I have spent this year, continuously, trying to have some break, but I never got any, even in religious or national holidays. 
And after I left my mom at the ICU after her surgery that other day, I went to do something I have never done; buy a dress! And I kept wondering what would I do with it? When would I wear it? I thought my birthday should be the day. But then again Egypt happened. The fact that I am cancelling my birthday, again, is not the reason for my pain, but the fact that I am FORCED to do so by those in power imposing a curfew is the total reason for pain. It suffocates me, literally, to have to do something according to the rules of those in power, those I have always marched against. How oppressive! Even the usual, boring, afternoons you used to get after witnessing massacres, spending time with your friends trying to heal are now a luxury we can not afford. The fact that we are STILL unable to live a normal day in this country is the most oppressive. I believe a person should be given the right to go see their friends after spending their day counting charred corpses piled up in a mosque, big as it is, but it still feels so small because the number of bodies is so big. But this, TOO, is a right that has been taken away from us. I firmly believe that we are being rid of our most basic, human, rights of spending a casual, boring, very normal afternoon/day. And no, I still can not shed a tear after witnessing all this, just like what has happened with me during Jika's funeral march, but I hope I will soon...I need to release. 

Thank you, Egypt, for suffocating us. I so wanted to have a break, but mostly, and because my birthday is on a Friday, I would be covering yet another massacre(s), because "you are a reporter. You chose this job.You have a responsibility. You don't have the right to lead a normal life." 

(excuse the typos. I just wanted to pour everything out here so that I could read it and know what exactly is upsetting me)

I demand my natural right to some moments of peace. I demand my genuine right to a boring afternoon in the streets of Cairo.

و يبقي السؤال...اين و كيف سنقضي المشهد الحادي عشر؟

January 5, 2014, 4:28 pm

≫ Next: الي أطفالي العمالقة : سلام.

≪ Previous: Because, Egypt!

$

0

0

الاخوان و العسكر و الفلول...عصور كتير...في وقت قليل..وطويل..بنفس النهج والدم ...والتعريض و الازدواجية...لو كان واحد فيكم اختلف كان نفع او نجح..لكن للاسف كلكم تاجرتم بالشعب..و اتسندتوا علي حوايط مايلة وقعت بكل واحد فيكم في لحظة من اللحظات...لو كل فصيل كان نجح اما اشتغل لوحده..كان نفع نفسه..فاكيد مش هينفعك اما تتحد مع واحد فيهم...مصلحجي.

الخسارة و المكسب حقايق...لو اتقدر لنا نخسر...يا ريت نخسر بشرف..وبدون ما نغير من مبادئ ثابتة..حتي عشان احاسيسنا...احساسك ملكش ملكة عليه...لكن لك ملكة علي احكامك و قراراتك..تعمل اية؟ اضعف الايمان تدرك الحقايق حتي و انت مش قادر تغيرها..زاو توقفها...او تكملها:
25 يناير ثورة شعب عن بكرة ابيه..رابعة مجزرة..الداخلية كائنات سادية بتقمع لكل نظام...الجيش...الجيش و الشعب عمرهم ما كانوا ايد واحدة..الجيش مؤسسة بتستفيد سياسيا و اقتصاديا من اوجاعنا..الاخوان...جماعة مكيافيلية اتسندت ع الحيطة الغلط ووقعت بيهم و عليهم و علينا في الاخر... 

مشهد واحد: عمر سليمان يلقي خطاب التنحي و عينه مرغرغة يا حبة عيني...كلب وفّي بردو..مبارك بيتخلع...الجيش بينزل..."بيحمينا من حرب أهلية...وبينحاز للشعب"...قفا صعايدة كلنا اخدناه مبتسمين هاتفين الجيش و الشعب ايت واحتة...

مشهد اتنين: قناة صوت الشعب مفتوحة لاول مرة في صالة بيتنا...مجلس شعب اللي الشعب انتخب معظمه اخوان بالقصد...و بحسن نية...والاسوء...بامل...علي امل...ان ما يسمون انفسهم او يسموهم البعض اسلاميين (عندهم جزء تالت في الشهادتين عننا مثلا يا كابتن؟)..عشان "أكيد يعرفوا ربنا...داقوا من مرارنا وقت مبارك..اتحبسوا و يقدروا قيمة الحرية و العدل..و مفيش غيرهم نقدر نثق فيه...هتبقي شوكة لكسر نظام مبارك اننا نجيب معارضينه في الحكم..كسر نظام استمر سنين مفيد و ان لم ينجح...البحر بيقلب موجه و بينضف"... 

مشهد 3: مسيرة لمجلس شعبهم..من خيرة شباب الثورة...شيوعيين و اسلاميين و غيرهم...مطالبين الكتاتني و القوة السياسية اللي لسة داخلة الساحة السياسية باخذ السلطة من العساكر...و"احنا مدنيين في بعض"...مقابلة باتهامات: انتم اكيد متأجرين عشان توقعونا في جيشنا...سيبوه يسلمها براحته...جيشنا وطني...مجلس عسكر وطني..يا مشير يا مشير...الف تحية من التحرير...و كالعادة ينتهي المشهد بدم و العتاف الغبي: "الجيييش..و الشعب...ايييت واااحتة"

مشهد 4: جمعة وثيقة السلمي...يهتف قلة ليست قليلة من شباب يتعافي من اثار ضرب ليست قديمة جدا..."يسقط يسقط حكم العسكر"...لتواجه هتافاتهم اصوات مكبرات صوت عالية الجودة...متكلفة.. بتذيع اغاني وتنية..و ترمز لاتحاد مجلس عسكر و الشعب...و الغالب...كانت بتستخدم قرأن ربنا عشان تشوش علي هتافات عبيد ربنا...و ينتهي المشهد في تمام الساعة الخامسة عصرا...عشان "احنا ثائررين و عاوزين تسليم السلطة زيكم...و بنثبت في الميدان و مبنسيبكوش وقت الضرب...ولا بنضرب فيكم معاهم..بس الجماعة حرجت عليا افضل في الشارع لبعد 5...نمسكها من النص...اسمي نزلت...و اسمي مستنيتش"...و كعادة المشهد ينتهي بهتافه الاوحد: "الجيش...والشعب...اييييت واحتة"

مشهد 5: مذيعة لزجة...خارجة ع المواتنين الشورافاء...تهددهم من "الارهاب" (بردك) ...ضد قوات الجيش و الشرطة...تستنجد بالناس العزل المواطنين...اللي لهم حق الحكاية علي جيشهم..ان يسرعوا الي الشوارع...لقتل المسيحيين الوحشين..العزّل اللي بقدرة قادر..بيقتولوا في قوات جيش و شرطة نظامية..مدربة..و بيدبحوا فيهم بس معندناش جثة واحدة..فيهرع المواتنين الي الشارع...بادئين ما كاد ان يكون حربا أهلية حقيقية..و ينتهي المشهد...ب 27 خشبة...ب 27 عريس...بيتزفوا من الكتدرائية...منهم خشبة شاب نعرفه...طلب من دنيته طلب وحيد...لاخرته...يتزف للتحرير وقت موته...او بالأصح قتله...ليواجه زفته حفنة من مواتنين الدولة الشورافاء...مستخسرين فيه حتي لحظة خروجه من البلد والدنيا و سايابانه لهم..مخضرة..بيزألوه بالطوب..وكالعادة..ينتهي المشهد ب ؟ "الجييييش...والشعب...ايت واحتة!"

فاصل:

جبروت عسكري...و تعريض و ازدواج و بيع و ثفقات دم اخوانية عسكرية حزبية برلمانية بتفشل...بسبب شاشات كتير..عسكر كاذبون...ريم ماجد...يسري فودة..باسم يوسف...مع دم بيكتر...ومشارح مبتعرفش تكدب..ولا تخفي حقايق...و تدريجي..خف الهتاف...وزاد الاستيعاب..ان الجيش و الشعب مش ايد واحدة! لكل جبروت نهاية...وبداية لجبروت اوسخ.

مشهد 6: "هي لله...هي لله...لا لمرسي ولا لجاة"...بترج ميدان التحرير..و في نص شارع متحني بدم شبابه...وقف واد مجدع...اصغر من معظم اللي بيقرا المشاهد...هاتفا لمرسي...موضحا: "انا مش مع مرسي...بس انا اضطريت اكون معاه اما حسيت انهم بيتأمروا ضده...و شفيق مينفعش يحكم...لا للعسكر...و ان شاء الله مرسي يحقق املنا"

مشهد 7: جيكا مرمي ع الارض برصاص مرسي...تحت ولايته...و كلكم راع..و كلكم مسؤول..

مشهد 8: اعتصام سلمي صميم..متكسرش فيه كوباية...تقرر جماعة من الاطفال المدللين...حشد شعوب المحافظات الاخري لتواجه من تبقي من ثوار القاهرة و تستفرض بيهم في مكان اعتصامهم..و بعد ما كان ضرب المظاهرات...بين قوات امن و متظاهرين (مشهد مألوف...سلو بلدنا)...و اضافة لعلاقة الشعب و الشرطة المتوترة...وعلاقة الشعب و الجيش المتوترة...اضفنا علاقة الشعب بالشعب المتوترة.

..انتم اللي قلبتم الأية..استحملوا قرفها دلوقتي! 

مشهد 9: قوة عسكرية..متخفية في كام مدني...قفا متخفي...بتزيح رئيس غير شرعي (الدم افقده شرعيته زيه زي اللي قبله و بعده)...لكنهم ايضا غير شرعيين..و يتجمع جمع اكبر...بس مش اصدق من جمع 3 سنين فاتوا بدؤا الحكاية..و بيرجع الهتاف المعتاد...بس زاد حتة: الجييييش...والشعب....و الشووووورطة...ايت واحتة!

مشهد 10: المجزرة الأكبر...و سمي الاشياء باسمائها...عندما تري المجزرة...فسمها مجزرة...حتي و ان وافقت عليها كالجحش...لكنها تظل علي ما هي عليه: مجزرة! يستشهد من يستشهد...ويهرب الجبان من يهرب...و كالعادة..و عشان الجنة مبتلمش...نقت انقي و اصفي من فينا...كأنها عارفة احنا محتاجين مين معانا فبتاخده مننا كعقاب و تعجيز...و اصطفت الجنة رفقائها...و سابت للدنيا من يستاهلو يكملوا فيها..

الإخوان ليسوا اقل جرما من مجلس عسكر...متلومش ع السيسي لمجازره...و تقولي مرسي غير مسؤول عن دم اللي وقعوا..هو مش لو تعثرت بغلة في الشام لسئل عنها عمر؟ ولا دي مقولة موسيمية؟

"ما احنا في ناس كمان وقعت مننا في الاتحادية"...بيقولوا

بنفس المنطق هأرد عليك...و في ضباط اصيبت و ماتت اثناء فض اعتصامات عصر مجلس عسكر...هل دة يدي مجلس عسكر شرعيته؟

"دة انقلاب"..

اة...مش دي المشكلة...مدركين...بس انت اللي لازم تدرك ان شعبك وصل لمرحلة تقبل حتي انقلاب عسكري لو فيها "خلاصه"...وانك زيك زي الجيش...تعاملت كدولة جوا دولة...لك لغتك الخاصة في التهديد و الوعيد..."الحق يحشد اجناده"...و زيه جبت نسايبك في اماكن مفروض يكون فيها اهل الخبرة مش اهل المدام...ومشيت بنفس النظام..بس الاوسخ..اننا توقعنا منك الاحسن..

مبارك علي يده دم..طنطاوي علي يده دم...مرسي و شباب جماعته علي يدهم دم...و سيسي علي يده دم...شوف الكلمة المقررة في كل الجمل دي و هتطلع بالنتيجة اللي وصلنا لها من كل العصور..

"دول ارهابيين بيقطعوا الطريق"...

مكنش فعل ثوري و انت بتعمله في 2012 ضد العسكر و في 2013 ضد مرسي؟

"دول اشتروا الاعلام لحسابهم"

علي اساس ان قنوات الدين مكنتش بتطبل لمرسي؟

"انتم ازاي تقبلوا بعسكر تاني...دول بيحاكموكم عسكري"

و انت عملت اية في 2012 في عز المحاكمات العسكرية و كانت في ايدك سلطة تشريعية و لك حكم ع التنفيذية تمنعهم..هذه بضاعتكم...ردت اليكم...شيل من ايدك قلادات طنطاوي...وخد بضاعتك..

هل تستمد الشرعية من الصناديق فقط؟ ام من الميادين ايضا؟ اوليست "الشرعية من الميدان"؟ اديتك صوتي في صندوق...فانت شيعت ابني في صندوق...قمت رجعت انا سحبت صوتي في ميدان...لية صعبة الفهم علي كل حاكم؟ 

اين شرعية جيكا و غيره في ان يكملوا عامهم ال17 و يعيشوا حياة طبيعية مملة؟ 

اين شرعية حبيبة عبد العزيز في مواصلة مشوارها الصحفي؟

لية دم احمد عاصم اقل من دم الحسيني؟

كان الحسيني هيزعل و يعزي في احمد عاصم لو كان عاش؟

يا تري احمد عاصم كان من المؤيدين للهجوم علي الحسيني يوم ما اتقتل؟ زعل عليه؟ ام حشد معهم الاجناد؟

احنا بنعيش نفس الصور...بالحرف و الكلمة و الدم..بس الكراسي متبدلة..

"افرم يا سيسي" = "افرم يا مرسي" 

المشكلة مش في كم الاختلافات بينكم و الاختلافات في تياراتكم...المشكلة في مدي تشابه عهركم و تبريركم و ازدواجيتكم...

مش هاختم المشهد ب "يسقط كل من خان...عسكر فلول و اخوان""عشان اثبتلك اني غير منتفعة...صدق اللي تشوفه..

و يبقي السؤال...اين و كيف سنقضي المشهد الحادي عشر؟

الي أطفالي العمالقة : سلام.

January 20, 2014, 1:15 pm

≫ Next: Another Dream Deferred, I think.

≪ Previous: و يبقي السؤال...اين و كيف سنقضي المشهد الحادي عشر؟

$

0

0

واحد عزيز عليا...في مقام الاخ الكبير اللي ربنا مرزقنيش بيه..مرة قالي "بقي في واحدة عندها ٢٣ سنة... و نص أصحابها بيقولوا لها يا ماما؟"

أة. نص أصدقائي - إخواتي - بيقولولي يا ماما.. أصلي "متبنياهم"...فرق السن بينا يمكن يكون ٣-٤-٢ سنين..مش اصغر مني بكتير..بس بأحسهم أطفالي فعلا...دة مش تقليلا منهم...هما رجالة...بالمعني الانساني و الحرفي و الذكوري...مش ندمانة اني باستخدم وصف يمكن يكون عنصري في نظري "رجالة"و انا باحكي عنهم...لانهم تعريف اصيل للنخوة و الجدعنة...المفهوم اللي اتربينا عليه...و لو كان مغلوط او عنصري بعض الشيئ...بس هو اللي بيوصف حاليا..فهاستخدمه باريحية..

٢٠١١ :المقابلة : إعتصام جامعة القاهرة ضد لايحة حكم العسكر...وضد طلاب الاخوان المسلمين...اللي كذبوا علينا و دخلوا الانتخابات من ورانا عشان يكسبوا الاتحاد...ومباركين ان لايحة امن الدولة...اللي كان النظام بيستبيحهم بيها سابقا..بس دلوقتي هما اللي في النظام.

عرفت في الاعتصام دة شباب وبنات...تعريف رسمي للورد المفتح..الورد ابو شوكة في حلق الديابة..الورد الحنين اللي يداوي..الورد اللي متساقاش بس معافر يعيش..
عرفت في الاعتصام دة واحد زي حسن الندل شاهين...و ناس زي اللي هاحكي عنهم..

شلة الاعتصام بقت بردو شلة محمد محمود و العباسية و كل اشتباك و كل معركة حق...قودناها لوحدنا...بطولنا...ضد الدقون و البيادات و الميكروفونات و الشاشات و مجالس الشعب والقنابل و المطاطي..
كنا بنرمي بنفسنا قدام مدرعات بينا و بينهم متر و نص عشان ننتشل بعض من قدامهم..
طب ازاي تصبح صحبتنا عادية و احنا شوفنا كل حاجة سوا؟ ثورة ..مبدأ...موت...حياة...نجاح...فشل...وجع...وفرح وخناقات 

عبد الرحمن فؤاد (بوشكاش)...الولد ابو قلب طيب...و لطيبة قلبه دايما مسامح و بشوش...يمكن حتي اللي بيحبوه بما فيهم انا استغلوا طيبة قلبه كتير..دايما بيشوف مين فينا كلنا عاوز يعمل اية...و بيعمله...بنفس راضية ومسامحة و بفرحة..
الراجل الجدع 

اللي هو و الشلة ببناتها وولادها كانو بيجوا يقضوا يومهم في المستشفيات معايا..و يستحملوا صريخي وانا عيانة و و ميملوش..و لا يجزعوا..بدل ما كانوا يروحوا يقضوا وقتهم لعب و فسح...كانوا بيقضوه معايا في وجع مش واجب عليهم يشيلوه...كان و كانوا بيجولي الساعة ٢ صباحا يودوا بابا المستشفي معايا..ومن غير ما اطلب..

عبد الرحمن أسامة: الولد المجدع...دايما هتلاقيه في ضهرك..عشان الحق...حتي ان مكانش يعرفك..تربية بيت طيب...علموه يعني اية أصول و جدعنة

أبراهيم الشعار: الشجاع..المستبيع...وبيلبسنا في حاجات كتير من كتر ما مش بيقدر يكتم رأيه...اللي يقول كلمة حق...ولو حد السيف علي رقابته..

٢٠١٤:     ٣ سنين بعد فض الاعتصام...و في وسط معمعة سياسية خلت كل الورد المفتح غمض...عشان نظره خدع...والصورة مبقيتش واضحة من كتر ظلم كل الاطراف..

فجأة موبايلي رن كتير...الاخبار من اول اليوم مش ولابد..اليوم صعب...وختم بخبر القبض العشوائي علي ٣ من اولادي...اة: أولادي!

في ثانية و دون ترتيب...اتجمعت الشلة...شلة القبة...شلة الاشتباكات...اللي الدنيا بتاخدها و توديها..بس وقت اللزوم...بيظهروا و لو بعد حين..

بوشكاش و أسامة نبيل و عبد الرحمن أسامة و ابراهيم الشعار و عمر ساهر كانوا في الجامعة في نفس الوقت لاسباب مختلفة...في حتت متفرقة.

بوشكاش سمع ان أسامة في الجامعة...وقت حدوث الاشتباكات...نزل يجري عشان يجيبه..وهو داخل...شاف بنات بتتهان من عساكر...نخوته سبقته..حاول يوقف دة..

أسامة لمح العسكري و هو ناول فيه ضرب...جري عليه...قال للعسكري "دة ملوش دعوة...خدني انا...انا اللي جريت ع العسكري..دة ملوش دعوة بحاجة.."لحد ما عشكري تاني انهال علي أسامة ضرب..كومه...

خطفوا بوشكاش في مدرعة و جريوا بيه...و أسامة فضل مرمي ع الارض باصابته..وبعدها اختفي وتليفونه اتقفل.

في نفس الوقت: عبد الرحمن أسامة و شعار كانوا في المترو...بعيد تماما عن مكان الاحداث...و تم القبض عليهم هما و ٧ شباب كمان...فيهم اللي اتقبض عليه من محطة العتبة!

اترحلوا كلهم ع مديرية امن الجيزة..

وقت مرار علي ما قدرنا نوصل هما فين...١٠٠ تليفون..١٠٠ خناقة..و حيرة و تدوير و دعا...دعا كتير اوي...

الشلة إتجمعت تاني:

المرة دي ...قدام النيابة...اول ما دخلت...لقيت شباب فيهم مشوفتهومش من سنتين - ٣ ...الا في اشتباكات و ثورة بعد فض اعتصامنا...مرمين ع الرصيف...أهالي مذعورة...بتشحت حق شوفة عيالها...ولا كأنها بتتسولهم بعد ما قضوا حياتهم تعبانين فيهم.

مبيقيناش عارفين...نقوي نفسنا و نطبطب علي بعض...ولا نجز علي اسنانا و نطبطب علي اهاليهم؟

مين حولنا من ابناء اهاليها بتاخد بالهم منهم...الي اباء بتطبطب علي اباء؟

و استنينا..واستنينا..و النيابة و العساكر تلعب باعصابنا...١٠٠ مليون قرار مختلف نوضب روحنا علي اساسه و يطلع فشنك...استنزاف!

نزلوا الشباب علي عربية الترحيلات متأخر..مكناش عاوزينهم يترحلوا..من غلبنا و قلة حيليتنا...هتفنا...هتافنا وقفهم علي رجل..مع انه صوت..فقط صوت!

دربكة و لخبطة..خافوا ينقلوهم...رجعوهم علي حجز النيابة و قالوا هيباتوا فيه...و سجدوا الاهالي ان عيالهم هنا في الجيزة جنبهم..عشان يروحوا...

اسامة مقدرش يتمالك اعصابه اما عسكري شتمه وضرب ام معتقل...رزع بايديه الاتنين علي صدر العسكري بغل...و نزل ضرب و خبط في انهيار عصبي علي كبوتات العربيات..لحد ما لواء شرطة جه كتم صوته و بعده عن عربية الترحيلات...والشباب شدوا اسامة من ايده و بعدوا...وسكت المشهد...بس اسامة مسكتش...فضل يطلع غيظه علي عربيات ناس منعرفهاش و مظلمتناش..

و اول ما روحوا الاهالي ...نقلوا الشباب علي قسم الجيزة تاني...جرينا وراهم...اتفرقنا حبة عند النيابة...فيهم اللي قاعد ع الرصيف يذاكر عشان امتحانه تاني يوم و مش هاين عليه يمشي و يسيب رفاقته...وفيهم اللي النوم غلبه و نام في البرد...و كلهم...محطوش لقمة في بوقهم من صباحية ربنا..

نقولوا الشباب علي معسكر الامن المركزي في الكيلو ١٠ و نص علي طريق مصر- اسكندرية الصحراوي..

جبنا لهم هدوم و اكل،،،وروحنا امهاتهم و هديناهم...والنار قامت في قلوبنا احنا...
يا تري اتضربوا تاني؟

يا تري سيبوا عليهم المسجلين؟

بردانين؟

طب احنا هننام ازاي و هما كدة؟ منمناش.

اللي راح امتحانه مكتبش كلمة...و اللي مرحش اصلا. حياة مؤجلة منذ اكتر من  ٣ سنين..

كان مقبوض علي اكتر من ٤٢ شاب..معظمهم لم يكن علي علاقة بالاشتباكات اصلا! ١١ منهم تم ضربهم ضرب مبرح...لدرجو استدعت نقلهم الي مستفيات القصر العيني و العجوزة..والباقي اترحل ع المعسكر

و سرقوا كمان ١٥ يوم من حياة الشباب علي ذمة جريمة مرتكبوهاش

وجهت اليهم تهم هي الاتية: 

"قتل واحد (طالب تجارة انجليش اللي استشهد في الاشتباكات) ..والشروع في قتل 27

التظاهر

تخريب منشأت عامة 

حيازة سﻻح ناري ..

انضمام لجماعات إرهابية

و الشروع في قتل محمد جابر جاد نصار ابن رئيس الجامعة ..

الا انتم سيبتو كل المصابين و ركزتوا مع ابن جابر نصار؟ ابن الوزة العايمة؟

و في احراز اتلفقت لهم من القسم...مولوتوف .. جراكن بنزين .. مسامير

رحنا الجامعة و حاولنا نجيب اي قيد لاثبات وجود ال٣ شباب في مسرح الجامعة و امتحاناتهم لاثبات انهم ملهمش علاقة بالاشتباكات...ودة حقيقي...لا هم مع دول و لا مع دوكهم!

صورنالهم جداول امتحاناته و اشترينالهم الملازم..

وكتبنالهم جوابات...والشنا عليهم فيها..وردوا بجوابات..و قالولنا انهم جدعان و مش خايفيين...و انهم عاوزين يستحموا و شعار عاوز مكرونة بشاميل :D 
يوم 4-2-2014 كان مفروض يطلع قرار النيابة...نشفوا ريقنا و ف الاخر النيابة هي اللي راحت لهم المعسكر بدل ما يترحلوا هما للنيابة...و اتجددلهم كمان 15 يوم!

يا بوشكاش...اسامة وانا و كل الشباب لسة بيكلموك ع الواتس اب و بيرغوا معاك وانت مش بترد...

يا بوشكاش..اسامة اللي مش محتاج يحلفلي ...جه يقسم لي انه مساباكش و فضل يقولهم خدوني معاه لحد ما خطفوك وضربوه..مع اني واثقة انه عمل دة من غير ما يحكيلي..دة وجعني..

يا بوشكاش..الولاد وشوشهم مطفية...شفتهم بيبكوا ساعات كاملة متواصلة..حاسين بعجز..خايفين عليك...وحشتهم!

يا بوشكاش...امك في عنينا!

يا بوشكاش..انت جدع و هتستحمل...انا عارفة..واثقة..

يا بوشكاش...يبتلي المرء علي قدر ايمانه

يا بوشكاش...كانت الدنيا بتضيف بيا بتيجي بكل ذرة طيبة في وشك تهونها..

يا بوشكاش..إطلع بقي يا عم..اطلع اخدك انت و الواد عمر و عبد الرحمن اسامة و اسامة و اوكا و نتمشي ع الكوبري و تغنوا شعبي بعلو الحس و تفضحوني و اسبق لقدام و اسيبكم..اطلع بقي 

يا بوشكاش...إصحابك تعريف الامان و الثقة..

يا بوشكاش...احنا واخدين بالنا من بعض...و مش سايبين بعض ولا هنسيبكم...اياك تقلق :)

يا بوشكاش...اصحابك جدعان
يا بوشكاش...فات اول يوم...هانت!

يا شعب راضي و مطاطي و مهاود..

هو احنا...كبني ادمين في اوائل العشرينيات...في امل نقضي ايامنا في نوادي؟ خروجات؟ نحضر مسرحية؟ حفلة؟ نحب؟ نتقدم في اشغالنا؟ بدون ما تلاتة ارباع طاقتنا و صبرنا و جهدنا يروحوا ع المستشفيات و الاقسام والنيابات والوقفات التضامنية مع اللي اتقبض عليهم في وقفة تضامنية مع اللي اتحبسوا بعد مظاهرة تضامنية؟
ممكن نجري ورا اكل عيشنا مش ورا عربيات الترحيلات؟
ممكن نصرف فلوسنا ع الفسح مش ع الاعاشات والعلاجات؟
ممكن نتلم نضحك مش نواسي بعض في عزا حد فينا؟
ممكن نبقي في امان حتي و احنا واخدين جنب من كل المعارك عشان مش معاركنا؟
ممكن نعيش يومنا بطريقة عادية...مملة جدا؟ ننزل الجامعة مثلا...ونرجع؟
نشوف ماتش و نرجع؟
ناخد مواصلة ونرجع؟
نروح القهوة..ونرجع؟
ننام بنفكر في جديد حلو مش باحساس مقيت بالذنب اننا علي سرايرنا و احبابنا ع البورشات وسراير مرضي تمرض اكتر؟
دة سؤال..حقيقي..
لية؟ طب نوقفه ازاي؟
طب و لو معشناش دلوقتي...هنلحق نعيش امتي؟

مستنين اية بعد ما ايدهم طالت عيالكم عشان تصدقوا و تقتنعوا؟

يا ظالم.. بردو هنفرح و هنتلم ونضحك حتي لو قدام نيابات ومشارح وسجون  و هيطلعوا.

يا سلطة..صحبتنا اقوي من مليون عسكري بسلاحهم الخايف!

يا شباب...احنا اقوياء...ان كنا موجوعين او انتم وحشنا..علي قد وجعها...علي قد اصرارنا انكم تخرجوا وسطينا تاني..مش هنسيبكم...ودة وعد...منقدرش نكسره و ان شئنا!

يا شباب...هنتلم و هنضحك...وهنتريق علي كل اللي حصلكم في سجونهم :)

يا شلة القبة..يا شلة الثورة...تبّت يدا من ساب رفاق المعركة بطولهم..

يا رب..كانت الواحد الدنيا بتضيق بيه يجري عليهم...ادينا محبوسين في همومنا و هما محابيس في سجون الجبابرة!

 يا رب...مصر بتاكل عيالها اللي طعمهم حلو..

يا رب...داوي قلوبنا...و قوينا ع الديابة..و اجعل صحبتنا سند!

يمكن باعاملكم علي انكم "اطفالي"و انا "ماما"...يمكن بتنادوني ماما...لكنكم أطفال في قلوبكم...عمالقة بافعالكم و مبادئكم وثباتكم...علمتوني كتير..و سندتوني اكتر..و الحقيقة اننا احنا اللي محتاجين خروجكم..

قوينا ع الديابة يا رب..

Another Dream Deferred, I think.

January 24, 2014, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: أنا أبويا راجل عظيم

≪ Previous: الي أطفالي العمالقة : سلام.

$

0

0

Another 25 January comes. Another year passes by. Everything stays the same. No. It is now worse. But "we" are not to be blamed. Do I regret? Hell no. Do I lose faith? May be in the process, but never in the dream. Those of you who have turned our most basic human rights into far-fetched dreams are the ones to blame. Here are my scattered, never previously thought of, thoughts...typed down into a Facebook status box. Not in a ballot station, not in a square, not chanted, but typed...where it all started; Facebook. 

Three years have passed, another has come, and the only thing we have gained so far is Disillusionment. Yes, now the romanticism of the revolution has faded away. Those who made it, stood for it, dreamt of it, have gone too, in the most vicious ways. Some of them have been killed, injured, and some of them remain into custody...not only in a prison cell, but in their Bigger Dream. It is dehumanizing; to love something that destroys you. But sadly, after so many years, you come to the conclusion that the only things that can destroy you are the most things that help shape who you are now. 

Another thing we have won? Ourselves. Our certainty we will always have someone who is willing to go beyond what is expected from them to defend us, free us, and sacrifice their well-being for the Dream..

What have we lost? Everything else. Everyone who matters. 

I look back and what comes to mind is one thing. No, not 2011, but 2012; the year I was shaped into the person I am today. The year I knew all my enemies, and all my friends...those who have lied, and those who have been killed for their honesty and altruism. Those have failed you, criminalized you, and those who died instead of you. 

I don't have a survivor's guilt now. I am envious of those who have died...who have been killed, to be correct. Their dilemma has ended. They don't think of what is right or what is wrong or the consequences. They have been given the privilege of giving up, without feeling guilty about it. The decision has been made for them, to rest. Rest. I only think of those of those they have left behind. 

I look back at the last three years in my life with one question: did the perpetrator know that a bullet does not only kill one person? Did they know it kills a whole family, many friends, many dreams, many plans, and many love stories, many lives not lived? How many artists, genius scientists, eloquent poets, talented photographers, singers, actors, and genuine lovers have they killed? The answer remains in the morgues. We will never know. 

I look now and all I know is that I don't know a thing. Blood is spilling, and more is to be spilled. You go to sleep, knowing you will wake up to yet another massacre. Which friend am I going to lose this time? The question remains unanswered until the massacre ends. Should I tell them not to go? Should I force them to stay here, with me, with us? Or should I do what I believe in and leave them decide on their own? What is right? What is wrong? Which are going to be able to bear the most?

I know we should continue fighting against injustice, be it subjected on those we consider enemies, those who have betrayed us, or be it for those who fight with us, because we would be fighting against injustice itself, not for the sake of those who have failed us necessarily. But I also stand disillusioned, with very little power, and more courage, to admit: we should never leave the battlefield, yet we need to fight differently. Protesting, risking the lives of those you love when you call upon them to join you at the squares, is not going to do anymore. Protesting should be a means, not a goal. We know our goals, but we stand helplessly when we are asked about the "alternative, the replacement of the dictator". Martyrs who have died protesting, I have no "alternatives" to the dictator, but be sure I would never support him. I would never support those who have killed you, and this is the least I can offer you, your loved ones, myself, and my principles so far. They, each and everyone of them, have our blood, your blood, on their hands. 

We will figure something out...so I hope... I don't know. Forgive me.